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TPO42Workers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when do similar tasks all day long. v.2

TPO42Workers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when do similar tasks all day long. v. 2
A large number of people spend most of their time at their work; therefore, it has an undeniable role in the individuals’ lives. Although a plethora of people hold the opinion that doing sundry tasks is more satisfying for workers, others disagree with this point of view and believe that doing identical duties during a day is better. I, to a great extent, hold this viewpoint that it is more useful for employees to accomplish similar types of activities during the workday. Among countless reasons, which can vindicate my point of view, I will mention the two most conspicuous ones through the following paragraphs. The first reason that juts out of my mind easily at the first moment of thinking about this issue is the fact that by doing just one activity during the day, employees will have better performance. This matter is thanks to the fact that these workers concentrate on a task, which has be repeated all day. Therefore, they accomplish their jobs with beneficial results since they are familiar with all aspects of their duty. To cast more light on this matter, consider a man who a variety of activities in his job. Definitely, he cannot concentrate on a particular task and has to do some duties together; therefore, after a while, he will become disappointed sine he is not able to cope with these different tasks and as a result, his performance will reduce. As it is clear, the less various tasks someone does, the more lucrative its outcome will be. The second and equally exquisite proof for this assertion is about this importance that people who do analogous duties will make less mistakes than the others. This claim is owing to the fact that these human beings accomplish one task again and again(successively). Hence, it is unlikely that they do their jobs wrong and make mistakes, which means that they will become more professional in their work. To give a tangible example, a research that has been conducted by some scientists in my country has shown that individuals who do sundry tasks in their jobs, will commit at least three mistakes per a workday. In other words, their jobs do not have a profitable result. Therefore, scientists highly recommend employees to do only one task during a workday. To make a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, we may draw the conclusion that it can be more advantageous for workers to not accomplish different activities at work. This contention is due to this importance that when they concentrate on one job, not only will they gain excellent results but also they will become more knowledgeable experts in their job.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend most of their time at their work;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
, it has an undeniable role in the individuals’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Although a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opinion that doing sundry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
is more satisfying for workers, others disagree with this point of view and believe that doing identical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duties
during a day is better. I, to a great extent, hold this viewpoint that it is more useful for employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accomplish
similar types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
during the workday. Among countless reasons, which can vindicate my point of view, I will mention the two most conspicuous ones through the following paragraphs.

The
first
reason that juts out of my mind
easily
at the
first
moment of thinking about this issue is the fact that by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
during the day, employees will have better performance. This matter is thanks to the fact that these workers concentrate on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
, which has
be repeated
all day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accomplish
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
since they are familiar with all aspects of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duty
. To cast more light on this matter, consider a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Definitely, he cannot concentrate on a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duties
together;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
, after a while, he will become disappointed sine he is not able to cope with these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
and as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, his performance will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
. As it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, the less various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
someone does, the more lucrative its outcome will be.

The second and
equally
exquisite proof for this assertion is about this importance that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do analogous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duties
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun mistakes is countable.
less
mistakes than the others. This claim is owing to the fact that these human beings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accomplish
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
again and again(
successively
).
Hence
, it is unlikely that they do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes, which means that they will become more professional in their work. To give a tangible example,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
that has
been conducted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientists in my country has shown that individuals who do sundry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, will commit at least three mistakes per a workday.
In other words
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
do not have a profitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, scientists
highly
recommend employees to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
during a workday.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, we may draw the conclusion that it can be more advantageous for workers to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accomplish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
at work. This contention is due to this importance that when they concentrate on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will they gain excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they will become more knowledgeable experts in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay TPO42Workers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when do similar tasks all day long. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
446 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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