Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The given first pie chart gives information about typical Australian household energy usages while the second pie chart presents the rate of greenhouse gas emissions caused by Australian household, which lead to environmental problems. v.2

The given first pie chart gives information about typical Australian household energy usages while the second pie chart presents the rate of greenhouse gas emissions caused by Australian household, which lead to environmental problems. v. 2
The given first pie chart provides information about typical Australian household energy usages while the second pie chart presents the rate of CO2 emission caused by Australian households that came from the consequence of energy consumption. In general, Australians in each family tend to utilise the heating systems with the great deal proportion and these release greenhouse gas significantly. As for the use of energy for heating, heating comprised of 42% but, this emitted just less half of CO2 emissions while using of water heating was nearly a third which was the similar amount of co2 emissions. In contrast, cooling was spent only 2% which was the lowest and only was released just 3% of green gas. When it comes to other energy usages, the reminded total amount of energy consumptions consisted of 26% but the entire rate of CO2 emissions comprised of double the amount. Overall, it can be seen that the heating system in Australian seems to be impractical regarding energy usages, and such power contributes to environmental problems and climate change potentials.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
first
pie chart provides information about typical Australian household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
usages while the second pie chart presents the rate of CO2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
caused by Australian households that came from the consequence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption.

In general
, Australians in each family tend to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
systems with the great deal proportion and these release greenhouse gas
significantly
.

As for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
comprised of 42%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, this emitted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
less half of CO2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
while using of water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
was
nearly
a third which was the similar amount of co2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
.
In contrast
, cooling
was spent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% which was the lowest and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
was released
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
3% of green gas.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
usages, the reminded total amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
consisted of 26%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the entire rate of CO2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
comprised of double the amount.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
system in Australian seems to be impractical regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
usages, and such power contributes to environmental problems and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
potentials.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The given first pie chart gives information about typical Australian household energy usages while the second pie chart presents the rate of greenhouse gas emissions caused by Australian household, which lead to environmental problems. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
175 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts