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14. Some people prefer to live in places that have the same weather or climate all year long. Others like to live in areas where the weather changes several times a year. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v.1

14. Some people prefer to live in places that have the same weather or climate all year long. Others like to live in areas where the weather changes several times a year. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 1
There has been a growing trend of employees changing jobs to further career. I personally believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Many factors contribute to the decision of a career change. To start with, the most common reason is the dissatisfaction at current position. For instance, disappointment of compensations, tensions between colleagues, or simply the disfavour of the company culture. Another often seen reason is about the sense of self-achievement and self-fulfilment. Workers may look for a better platform allowing them to gain new skills or opportunities to take steps in new fields that would sharpen their existing abilities and succeed in their careers. This trend results in a few positive aspects of the society. Firstly, due to the fast worker flow rate, to avoid losing the talents, corporations need to review their policy constantly, build up attractive compensation packages, as well as providing frequent and updated employee trainings. These changes demolish companies in comfort zones, and will then promote the economy and fertilize the society consisting more competitive and stronger businesses. Secondly, In the fast-changing world today, individuals need to be more flexible to survive. A range of skills and experience workers gain from different jobs allow them to blend in different occupations more quickly, meaning it is easier for these groups of people to find jobs. With less unemployment rate and less homeless, the society would have less burden on subsidies as well. On the contrary, people argue about the drawbacks of this trend. The most discussed one is the concept of loyalty towards companies. Even though this idea is sometimes taken as old-fashioned thinking, it somehow makes sense which no firm in the world wants to cultivate and invest in workers who might leave anytime. The other often brought up issue is the stability. If the flow rate is too high it may possibly cause chaos in the society. In short, this trend is generally a positive development, thus, a more competitive society and the fertilized economic development outweigh the concept of a loyal and stable society.
There has been a growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of employees changing jobs to
further
career. I
personally
believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factors contribute to the decision of a career
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the most common reason is the dissatisfaction at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
position.
For instance
, disappointment of compensations, tensions between colleagues, or
simply
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
disfavour
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
culture. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
reason is about the sense of self-achievement and
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-fulfilment
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Workers
may look for a better platform allowing them to gain new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or opportunities to take steps in new fields that would sharpen their existing abilities and succeed in their careers.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
results in a few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Firstly
, due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
flow rate, to avoid losing the talents, corporations need to review their policy
constantly
, build up attractive compensation packages,
as well
as providing frequent and updated employee trainings. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
demolish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in comfort zones, and will then promote the economy and fertilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
consisting more competitive and stronger businesses.
Secondly
, In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-changing world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, individuals need to be more flexible to survive. A range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
gain from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to blend in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occupations more
quickly
, meaning it is easier for these groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to find jobs. With less unemployment rate and less homeless, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
would have less burden on subsidies
as well
.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue about the drawbacks of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
. The most discussed one is the concept of loyalty towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Even though
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
taken as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned thinking, it somehow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense which no firm in the world wants to cultivate and invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
who might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
anytime. The other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
brought up issue is the stability.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the flow rate is too high it may
possibly
cause chaos in the society.

In short, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is
generally
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development,
thus
, a more competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the fertilized economic development outweigh the concept of a loyal and stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 14. Some people prefer to live in places that have the same weather or climate all year long. Others like to live in areas where the weather changes several times a year. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
340 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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