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TPO33-task2- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much moreeffectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects. v.1

TPO33-task2- When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much moreeffectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects. v. 1
It is often thought that the rate of youngsters who are spending time one reading has decreased significantly over the past few years. In the next paragraphs, I will discuss the causes and what can be done to motivate them, so the rate of reading will start rising in the future. First of all, one of the first problems of this issue can be the development of the technology. The reason for this is that a lot of children are providing their homework of school projects electronically, with smartphones or tablets. Moreover, this impact has made life more predictable. For instance, they do not have to travel to a library to make a start with their school work. So that's why, a lot of pupils did put this change in their lifestyle. Secondly, a possible solution for this can be to encourage the parents. This is because to make them realise that it is important and less distracting for the child's development. For instance, a lot of students are getting distracted fast by spending their time on games and other things, such as social media. All in all, it is important for the pupils by spending their time right, which is possible by reading more books. To conclude, it is believed that the numbers of children that are reading books for pleasure has dropped down in recent years. It is clear that the main reason for this is the upcoming of the electrical devices, which made life a lot easier. However, it can be distracting with regards to the educational process. The solution to this is to inform the parents about the negative effects and why it is better to read more books.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the rate of youngsters who are spending time one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
has decreased
significantly
over the past few years. In the
next
paragraphs, I will discuss the causes and what can
be done
to motivate them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
rising in the future.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one of the
first
problems of this issue can be the development of the technology.
The reason for this is
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of children are providing their homework of school projects
electronically
, with smartphones or tablets.
Moreover
, this impact has made life more predictable.
For instance
, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel to a library to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with their school work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that's why, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of pupils did put this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their lifestyle.

Secondly
, a possible solution for this can be to encourage the parents. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and less distracting for the child's development.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of students are getting distracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
by spending their time on games and other things, such as social media. All in all, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the pupils by spending their time right, which is possible by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
more books.

To conclude
, it
is believed
that the numbers of children that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books for pleasure has
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
in recent years. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the main reason for this is
The phrase 'the upcoming of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the upcoming of
the electrical devices, which made life a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
easier.
However
, it can be distracting
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
the educational process. The solution to this is to inform the parents about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects and why it is better to read more books.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay TPO33-task2- When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much moreeffectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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