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It is sometimes said that borrowing money from a friend can harm or damage the friendship. Do you agree? Why or why not? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v.4

It is sometimes said that borrowing money from a friend can harm or damage the friendship. Do you agree? Why or why not? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 4
Corporal punishments have always been a popular means of raising disciplined children. Some parents believe that smacking children is the optimum form of discipline. This essay will argue that these punishments are not completely necessary to instill discipline in children. Parents have always been stern when it comes to disciplining their children. They believe that, they will have an upper hand with them when they behave authoritatively. This is especially common in the Asian countries wherein children are subjected to physical abuse and inappropriate words, not only in their homes but also in their schools. They are penalised for every single mistake of theirs. Recent studies show that nearly 60 percent of parents in India resort to corporal punishments mainly because of the repetitive bad behaviour of their children and these methods have proven to be effective in the past. There has been a widespread notion that smacking children will mould them into well behaved adults. The fact that parents rely on corporal punishments to raise their children in itself is quite preposterous. I believe that inflicting pain is not the right way to raise children. Instead, parents could try to get to know them on a personal level and maintain a friendly relationship with them. They could also give an account of their personal experiences and point out where their son or daughter has gone wrong. Children are quick learners and are observant. Smacking them or their siblings will not set the right example. Studies have shown that strict parents give birth to the most notorious liars. Although, these methods are not common and require immense effort from the parent's side, they are the best ways to ensure that children learn to differentiate between good and bad. To recapitulate, this essay has argued that smacking children is not the best form of inculcating discipline. From where I stand, punishments are absolutely unnecessary in raising well mannered children.
Corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
have always been a popular means of raising disciplined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that smacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is the optimum form of discipline. This essay will argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are not completely necessary to instill discipline in children.

Parents have always been stern when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to disciplining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They believe that, they will have an upper hand with them when they behave
authoritatively
. This is
especially
common in the Asian countries wherein
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are subjected
to physical abuse and inappropriate words, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their homes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in their schools. They are
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalised' is British English.
penalised
for every single mistake of theirs. Recent studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
nearly
60 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in India resort to corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the repetitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and these methods have proven to be effective in the past. There has been a widespread notion that smacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
them into
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well behaved
adults.

The fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
rely on corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
to raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in itself is quite preposterous. I believe that inflicting pain is not the right way to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Instead
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know them on a personal level and maintain a friendly relationship with them. They could
also
give an account of their personal experiences and point out where their son or daughter has gone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are quick learners and are observant. Smacking them or their siblings will not set the right example. Studies have shown that strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give birth to the most notorious liars. Although, these methods are not common and require immense effort from the parent's side, they are the best ways to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn to differentiate between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.

To recapitulate, this essay has argued that smacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is not the best form of inculcating discipline. From where I stand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are
absolutely
unnecessary in raising
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well mannered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is sometimes said that borrowing money from a friend can harm or damage the friendship. Do you agree? Why or why not? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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