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TPO31- independent Writing: Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. v.1

TPO31- independent Writing: Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. v. 1
Raising the price of the fuel is the excellent solution to handle increased traffic and contamination issues? The idea of increasing the tariff of the gas is not efficient to solve traffic and pollution problems. Because gasoline is crucial for transportation. Rising the fee of the gasoline is to say that people give out more money for transportation. Making the vehicles consuming solar energy and decreasing the length of cars is the superb way to overcome these problems. People’s demand for vehicles is increasing day by day. In today’s world, vehicles usually run on gasoline. Therefore, we cannot overcome the pollution and transportation by increasing the gas prices. Exemplify, Turkish Government decided to increase value added tax on fossil fuel and derivatives two years ago. A report made by the Ministry of Energy reveals that consumption of oil stays same during this period despite the increasing costs. This is to say that increasing the cost of the oil cannot be a good manner to overcome these problems Producing the solar powered auto and minimizing the dimension of the wagon are more favourable solutions to solve these problems. For instance, the government encouraged people to buy solar powered auto in Norway. As a result of this, Norwegians’ demand of the oil decreased drastically in last decade. This situation also contributed to decrease the emission ratio from sixty percent to forty percent in Norway. Moreover, vehicle makers are trying to create smaller cars nowadays. They think that they will decrease the traffic density thanks to new small cars. To put it in a nutshell, regulating oil prices cannot be an efficient way to get over problems related to traffic and pollution. Using cars which run on renewable energy and reshape the vehicle are possible solutions to these problems. I believe with all my heart that the world will be more livable place thanks to these ways.
Raising the price of the fuel is the excellent solution to handle increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and contamination issues? The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the tariff of the gas is not efficient to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
gasoline is crucial for transportation. Rising the fee of the gasoline is to say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
give out more money for transportation. Making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
consuming solar energy and decreasing the length of cars is the superb way to overcome these problems.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
’s demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
day by day. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
usually
run on gasoline.
Therefore
, we cannot overcome the pollution and transportation by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the gas prices. Exemplify, Turkish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
decided to increase value
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
tax on fossil fuel and derivatives two years ago. A report made by the Ministry of Energy reveals that consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
stays same during this period despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
costs. This is to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
cannot be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manner to overcome these
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problems


Producing the solar powered auto and minimizing the dimension of the wagon are more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
solutions to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
encouraged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
solar powered auto in Norway.
As a result
of this, Norwegians’ demand of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
decreased
drastically
in last decade. This situation
also
contributed to decrease the emission ratio from sixty percent to forty percent in Norway.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
makers are trying to create smaller cars nowadays. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they will decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
density thanks to new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
cars.

To put it in a nutshell, regulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
prices cannot be an efficient way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution. Using cars which run on renewable energy and reshape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
are possible solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. I believe with all my heart that the world will be more livable place thanks to these ways.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO31- independent Writing: Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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