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TPO30: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v.1

TPO30: It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v. 1
People have numerous choices in terms of the work they want to do. Although some people like to transform the nature of work regularly, others enjoy doing the same kind of work over a long time. This essay will discuss why some people change the nature of work more often due to salary, but why others love to do the same sort of work over a long time. On the one hand, some people usually vary the nature of work regularly in order to increase their income. Moreover, these kind of people usually do not focus on the type of work rather they focus on hiking the salary by changing the jobs frequently. For instance, a recent Linkedin survey shows that the primary reason people change employment regularly is to increase their annual income. Thus, some people give preference to salary over the work they do which results in not doing the same work over a prolonged time. On the other hand, Although some people frequently vary what they were working on, a large number of people enjoy doing the same work for a long period because they like what they do. Furthermore, If a person found a job which gives him pleasure, they continue to work in that role for several years. For example, a recent statistics show that work satisfaction is the primary reason why many people remain doing the same work for several years. To sum up, if they found a job in which they like the work they are doing, they continue to remain to do that work for a significant period. In conclusion, there are several factors which contribute towards choosing a particular work a person likes. This essay has discussed, some people vary the nature of work in order to increase their income, while others do not change the type of work if they adore the work they are doing. In my opinion, people should continue to do the same work if they found, the work is exciting.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have numerous choices in terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they want to do. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to transform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
regularly
, others enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the same kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a long time. This essay will discuss why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
due to salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to do the same sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a long time.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
vary the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
regularly
in order to increase their income.
Moreover
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
do not focus on the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
they focus on hiking the salary by changing the jobs
frequently
.
For instance
, a recent
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linkedin
survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the primary reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
employment
regularly
is to increase their annual income.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give preference to salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they do which results in not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a prolonged time.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
frequently
vary what they were working on,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a long period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they like what they do.
Furthermore
, If a person found a job which gives him pleasure, they continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in that role for several years.
For example
, a recent statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
satisfaction is the primary reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for several years. To sum up, if they found a job in which they like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
, they
Consider using "remain".
continue to remain
to do that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a significant period.

In conclusion
, there are several factors which contribute towards choosing a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a person likes. This essay has discussed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
vary the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in order to increase their income, while others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
if they adore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should continue to do the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
if they found, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is exciting.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO30: It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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