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A company is organising a trip abroad for language training to a number of limited places. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, you should: • express That you want to join• say why you think you should join• explain why the o v.1

A company is organising a trip abroad for language training to a number of limited places. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, you should: • express That you want to join• say why you think you should join• explain why the o v. 1
Criminals usually tend to go back to prison after their freedom. There are a variety of reasons for that and this essay going to explain these causes and effects with relevant examples. Unfortunately, people who completed their legal punishment in a prison, mostly continue to carry on the criminal label on them. This generates many difficulties for them such as fewer employment opportunities. Employers do not prefer to hire someone who had heavy mistake in the past that resulted in prison. Lack of employment opportunities pushes these people to try illegal ways to earn money to fulfil their daily needs such as eating and accommodation. This action creates a harmful effect on the economy since these people cannot join to the workforce and pay their taxes. Another reason that forces ex-criminals to commit new crimes is social prejudice. Because of biases, the group does not accept these people as an ordinary citizen and approach them with biases. Consequently, these people cannot socialize easily and have to hang with other people who committed a crime before. If these people could have a chance, they were may be a part of the community. Yet, as a result of the social isolation, ex-criminals cannot be a part of the society and keep acting wrongful again. Consequently, social peace cannot be established permanently by authorities and citizens do not feel safe around ex-criminals. In conclusion, lack of employment opportunities and biases force ex-criminals to commit new crimes which creates a detrimental effect on the economy and social peace. In my opinion, authorities have to generate new policies to accommodate ex-criminals in the community.
Criminals
usually
tend to go back to prison after their freedom. There are a variety of reasons for that and this essay going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
these causes and effects with relevant examples.

Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who completed their legal punishment in a prison,
mostly
continue to carry on the criminal label on them. This generates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties for them such as fewer employment opportunities. Employers do not prefer to hire someone who had heavy mistake in the past that resulted in prison. Lack of employment opportunities pushes these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to try illegal ways to earn money to fulfil their daily needs such as eating and accommodation. This action creates a harmful effect on the economy since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
to the workforce and pay their taxes.

Another reason that forces ex-criminals to commit new crimes is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
prejudice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of biases, the group does not accept these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as an ordinary citizen and approach them with biases.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot socialize
easily
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
hang with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who committed a crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could have a chance, they
Did you mean "where may be"?
were may be
a part of the community.
Yet
,
as a result
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
isolation, ex-criminals cannot be a part of the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
acting wrongful again.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
peace cannot
be established
permanently
by authorities and citizens do not feel safe around ex-criminals.

In conclusion
, lack of employment opportunities and biases force ex-criminals to commit new crimes which creates a detrimental effect on the economy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
peace. In my opinion, authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
generate new policies to accommodate ex-criminals in the community.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay A company is organising a trip abroad for language training to a number of limited places. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, you should: • express That you want to join• say why you think you should join• explain why the o v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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