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TPO28 - Q1)1Students have to complete various types of academic assignments in school. Choose one of the assignments below and explain why you think it is beneficial for students. a). Research paper b). Class presentation c). Group project v.1

TPO28 - Q1)1Students have to complete various types of academic assignments in school. Choose one of the assignments below and explain why you think it is beneficial for students. a). Research paper b). Class presentation c). Group project v. 1
Although many consider that having an extra high income benefit the country, others still think that governments should allow pays only to a certain limit. In my view, I believe that salaries should not be set above a specific level as it helps the individuals to combat inequality and bring harmony to the society On the one hand, extremely high wages are good for the nation as it marks its progress especially with the population’s career performance. Businessmen, for instance, are mostly the people who are enjoying these benefits as their salaries depend on their companies. In expanding their businesses, locally or internationally, they don't only make more money, but the number of jobs they offer to people increases as well. Having more people, therefore, with huge earnings, is a good indicator of a country’s fast economic growth. On the other hand, many are suggesting that governments should limit these salaries as it promotes equality among the citizens and I agree. In the case of the developing countries, people who get paid a lot, such as politicians, are the only ones improving their living conditions while the poor sectors become poorer. However, by having a set limit to incomes, a balanced status quo will be possible as it can stabilize the rankings of the people according to social standards. If this happens, there will be equal and non-judgmental treatment among the people; hence, this would bring peace in the society. In conclusion, I am firm that the government should limit high wage payments to people if a country wants to promote equality among individuals and a peaceful society.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consider that having an extra high income benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, others
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
pays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
. In my view, I believe that salaries should not
be set
above a specific level as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the individuals to combat inequality and bring harmony to the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
society


On the one hand,
extremely
high wages are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the nation as it marks its progress
especially
with the population’s career performance. Businessmen,
for instance
, are
mostly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are enjoying these benefits as their salaries depend on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. In expanding their businesses,
locally
or
internationally
, they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the number of jobs they offer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
increases
as well
. Having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
therefore
, with huge earnings, is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
indicator of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
economic growth.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are suggesting that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
these salaries as it promotes equality among the citizens and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In the case of the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid a lot, such as politicians, are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones improving their living conditions while the poor sectors become poorer.
However
, by having a set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
to incomes, a balanced status quo will be possible as it can stabilize the rankings of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
according to social standards. If this happens, there will be equal and non-judgmental treatment among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
hence
, this would bring peace in the society.

In conclusion
, I am firm that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
high wage payments to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
wants to promote equality among individuals and a peaceful society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO28 - Q1)1Students have to complete various types of academic assignments in school. Choose one of the assignments below and explain why you think it is beneficial for students. a). Research paper b). Class presentation c). Group project v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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