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Students have to complete various types of academic assignments in school. Choose one of the assignments below and explain why you think it is beneficial for students. 1. Research paper2. Class presentation3. Group project v.1

Students have to complete various types of academic assignments in school. Choose one of the assignments below and explain why you think it is beneficial for students. 1. Research paper2. Class presentation3. Group project v. 1
There is a big issue that numerous individuals more and more tend to widely use their computer software, also there are a huge figures for kids who play computer games. This essay will provide the drawbacks of mentioned development and ways to decrease it. There are several negative impacts of the adding machine games on children, like the damaging effect on their well-being, causing to lose their time and productivity and feeling loneliness. First of all, the spending a lot of periods of sitting in front of the monitor can result in deterioration of eyesight and it able to become a problem for life long. To illustrate, according to the research, the general public has found that the vital cause in blurred vision is the spending a long hour at the using the artificial intelligence without any rest. Secondly, It probably will lead to lose their valuable seconds and deprivation any efficiency of their abilities. The main reason is that computer games cause a habit and multitude of users cannot avoid their desire of realising it. For instance, based on University of Cambridge survey, there is a fact that 70 % of present adults waste their day on computer games, miss their school lessons and more tend to have some health diseases. Nevertheless, the authority and parents can implement measures to encourage the young to less use computer and pay attention to their fitness. The main action which can be done by government is the providing some appealing events those might attract kids like free educational webinars which are supported by dinner or the increasing number of the amusement items. Also parents have an essential role. They should control their children’s activities, spend more moment with them and notice their upbringing. There is a good idea for parents to have a picnic together, watch TV programs, movies and have conversations with their kids. For example, scientists found that in Easteren countries children are happier and less invest their time on computer games than the kids in Western states. To conclude, the using and playing software can decline the health and productive state. Despite its people in power and parents can overcome this obstacles by providing some events.
There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue that numerous individuals more and more tend to
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their computer software,
also
there are a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "figure"?
figures
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
who play computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay will provide the drawbacks of mentioned development and ways to decrease it.

There are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of the adding machine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on children, like the damaging effect on their well-being, causing to lose their time and productivity and feeling loneliness.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
periods of sitting in front of the monitor can result in deterioration of eyesight and
Did you mean "it is" or "it was"?
it
able to become a problem for life long. To illustrate, according to the research, the
Consider using "public".
general public
has found that the vital cause in blurred vision is the spending a long hour at the using the artificial intelligence without any rest.
Secondly
, It
probably
will lead to lose their valuable seconds and deprivation any efficiency of their abilities. The main reason is that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
cause a habit and multitude of users cannot avoid their desire of
Possible spelling mistake. 'realising' is British English.
realising
it.
For instance
, based on University of Cambridge survey, there is a fact that 70 % of present adults waste their day on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, miss their school lessons and more tend to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health diseases.

Nevertheless
, the authority and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can implement measures to encourage the young to less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer and pay attention to their fitness. The main action which can
be done
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is the providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
appealing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
those might attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
like free educational webinars which
are supported
by dinner or the increasing number of the amusement items.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have an essential role. They should control their children’s activities, spend more moment with them and notice their upbringing. There is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to have a picnic together,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV programs, movies and have conversations with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
For example
, scientists found that in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Easteren
countries children are happier and less invest their time on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in Western states.

To conclude
, the using and playing software can decline the health and productive state. Despite its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in power and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can overcome this obstacles by providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Students have to complete various types of academic assignments in school. Choose one of the assignments below and explain why you think it is beneficial for students. 1. Research paper2. Class presentation3. Group project v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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