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TPO28-Parents today are more involved in their children's education than parents were in the past v.2

TPO28-Parents today are more involved in their children's education than parents were in the past v. 2
Over the past few decade, the issue of whether pranets are more participate in their childrens' s edcucation than previous time has received a great deal of attention from people and society. Although some may argue that ithese dacades parents are more busy than past since they cannot involve in their children' s education, I as well as many others believe that today our parent are more educated than their parents and they are more sensitive to their children' s education than their father and mothers. This following ecplanations will further elaborate on this perspective. First an foremost, a paramount reason why today parents get more involve in their children' s training is that they are more aware than the parents in the pasts. In this competitionary world, finding a suitable occupation has become more arduous than the past and parents are familiar with this issue. In these decades, a large number of high-level jobs are depend on the high education and due to this reasons parents are worried about their offsprings' training. Take the medical field as an example, the number of the demand on this major has been grew over the past decades due to the fact that this major can bring plenty of money to the doctors. As a result, parents affort more than the past to help their children to reach such these this positions by helping them in their education. A further reason for this view is that, our grand parents were not educated on those time. At the past, people virtually were not well-educated and they had not went to school as well. our pranets, in contrast, are more educated and more aware about the education systems; thus, they can assist their children in their lessons. Since they have experienced schools and colleges, they can be helpful for their children in their lessons' problems. For instance, my mother is a psychologist and when i was a child, she could always help me to understand my lessons and control my stress in exams duration. Finalyy, it is ocassionally said that parents are more sensitive about their children than previous decades. On our grand parents time, children did not have a high place in family and parents did not attention to them so much; consequently, the children' s education was not a significant issue for them. However, today parents respects children more than before and pay attention to their problems either in their education or they life. In brief, contemplating all the aforementioned above, I can draw a conclusion that these days parents are more involved in their offsprings education' issues chiefly due to raising the awareness of the parents and be more educated than the past.
Over the
past
few decade
, the
issue
of whether
pranets
are more participate in their
childrens&
#039; s
edcucation
than previous time has received a great deal of attention from
people
and society. Although
some
may argue that
ithese
dacades
parents
are more busy than
past
since they cannot involve in their
children&
#039; s
education
, I
as well
as
many
others believe that
today
our
parent
are more
educated
than their
parents and
they are more sensitive to their
children&
#039; s
education
than their father and mothers. This following
ecplanations
will
further
elaborate on this perspective.

First
an
foremost, a paramount reason why
today
parents
get
more involve in their
children&
#039; s training is that they are more aware than the
parents
in the
pasts
. In this
competitionary
world, finding a suitable occupation has become more arduous than the
past
and
parents
are familiar with this
issue
. In these decades,
a large number of
high-level jobs are
depend
on the high
education
and due to
this
reasons
parents
are worried
about their
offsprings&
#039; training. Take the medical field as an example, the number of the demand on this major has been
grew
over the
past
decades due to the fact that this major can bring
plenty
of money to the doctors.
As a result
,
parents
affort
more than the
past
to
help
their
children
to reach such these this positions by helping them in their education.

A
further
reason for this view is that, our grand
parents
were not
educated
on those time. At the
past
,
people
virtually
were not
well-educated and
they had not
went
to school
as well
.
our
pranets
,
in contrast
, are more
educated
and more aware about the
education
systems;
thus
, they can assist their
children
in their lessons. Since they have experienced schools and colleges, they can be helpful for their
children
in their
lessons&
#039; problems.
For instance
, my mother is a psychologist and when
i
was a child, she could always
help
me to understand my lessons and control my
stress
in exams duration.

Finalyy
, it is
ocassionally
said that
parents
are more sensitive about their
children
than previous decades. On our grand
parents
time,
children
did not have a high place in family and
parents
did not attention to them
so
much;
consequently
, the
children&
#039; s
education
was not a significant
issue
for them.
However
,
today
parents
respects
children
more than
before
and pay attention to their problems either in their
education
or
they life
.

In brief
, contemplating all the aforementioned above, I can draw a conclusion that these days
parents
are more involved in their
offsprings
education&
#039;
issues
chiefly
due to raising the awareness of the
parents
and be more
educated
than the
past
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay TPO28-Parents today are more involved in their children's education than parents were in the past v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
451 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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