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TPO28-1: Students have to complete various types of academic assignments in school. Choose one of the assignments below and explain why you think it is beneficial for students. 1. Research paper2. Class presentation3. Group project v.1

TPO28-1: Students have to complete various types of academic assignments in school. Choose one of the assignments below and explain why you think it is beneficial for students. 1. Research paper2. Class presentation3. Group project v. 1
Reducing of visiting to art galleries are happening, since few amount of people are taking interest in it. Hectic jobs can be a blocker. I think main source is people is having no attraction towards the craft. The Solution for this case is developing a worthy nature in beings will surely help. Firstly, artistry grip is getting weaker, which resulted in a decrease of visitation. People of some countries are not determining art galleries a demanding place to go. According to me reason behind this is, the new generation has a different mindset as compared to the old breed since this new era where modern ways of living have taken the ground where artistic work does not holds stage. Even though versatile human's only bear craze of technology, trend and media they are pursuing it blindly. Furthermore, Because of this science actions which was an invasion on old traditions that eliminated "The Imagination" which was once a praising element. This matter of neglecting mastery is an issue which is hard to handle. This can solve by planting roots of fine art in the conscience of our descendants. We have to push them beyond the norm, however it seems tough as thriving infatuation for something which is an outdated thing in this universe. In order to accomplish the goal of rising craftsmanship again is possible by which it was ruined The Media. Media can aware them regarding skills. When public will know how illusion speaks in the image of painting they will be dragged automatically to those empty hall's. In the end establishing artwork, workshops frequently will make students ambitious in this particular criteria. In conclusion technology unknowingly excluded artistic workforce, which was an aroma of life in this world. In order to make art galleries, live again conveying message through mainstream media of how unique and novel those coloured sheets are will be helping hand.
Reducing of visiting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries are happening, since
Possible agreement error. The noun amount seems to be countable; consider using: "few amounts".
few amount
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are taking interest in it. Hectic jobs can be a blocker. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
main source is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
having no attraction towards the craft. The Solution for this case is developing a worthy nature in beings will
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Firstly
, artistry grip is getting weaker, which resulted in a decrease of visitation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries are not determining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries a demanding place to go.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
reason behind this is, the new generation has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mindset as compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
breed since this new era where modern ways of living have taken the ground where artistic work does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "hold"
holds
stage.
Even though
versatile human's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bear craze of technology, trend and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
they are pursuing it
blindly
.
Furthermore
,
Because of this
science actions which was an invasion on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditions that eliminated
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The Imagination
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
which was once a praising element.

This matter of neglecting mastery is an issue which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to handle. This can solve by planting roots of fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in the conscience of our descendants. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
push them beyond the norm,
however
it seems tough as thriving infatuation for something which is an outdated thing in this universe. In order to accomplish the goal of rising craftsmanship again is possible by which it
was ruined
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
can aware them regarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
public will know how illusion speaks in the image of painting they will
be dragged
automatically
to those empty
The possessive apostrophe seems to be incorrect. Please remove the apostrophe if you want to use the plural form of 'hall'.
hall's
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
establishing artwork, workshops
frequently
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
students ambitious in this particular criteria.

In conclusion
technology
unknowingly
excluded artistic workforce, which was an aroma of life in this world.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
again conveying message through mainstream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
of how unique and novel those
Possible spelling mistake. 'coloured' is British English.
coloured
sheets are will be helping hand.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO28-1: Students have to complete various types of academic assignments in school. Choose one of the assignments below and explain why you think it is beneficial for students. 1. Research paper2. Class presentation3. Group project v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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