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TPO26-2: Some people like to have their cell or mobile phone with them at all times. Other people prefer not to bring their cell or mobile phone with them everywhere they go, or they choose not to own one at all. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v.1

TPO26-2: Some people like to have their cell or mobile phone with them at all times. Other people prefer not to bring their cell or mobile phone with them everywhere they go, or they choose not to own one at all. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1
It is true that there have been an increasing number of fascinating and compelling buildings springing up. Some, however, simply display their charisma instead of showing utility. Personally speaking, we should strike a balance between appropriate exploitation and beauty design of constructions. Pragmatic use of buildings is our immensely significant consideration when we intend to utilize the land better. It is widely accepted that the land in our universe is strictly limited and good advantage should be taken of this scarce resource. For example, the establishment of gorgeous and ancient museums is largely meant to preserve cultural relics and heritage. From the perspective of spirits, they can better help us human beings recall the history as well as reflect upon our reality. If not, lands, built on museums, must be occupied to convert to industrial plants. Thus, premises like museums always serve various purposes. Another crucial attribute that we put on a premium is that buildings can represent the prowess of one city. Unpredictable natural disasters constantly blight many countries, under which circumstance, exceptionally sturdy buildings figure prominently in safeguarding regions. Eventually, mortality and financial implications in these areas can be amazingly decreased. The art of building must be taken into account. Images of buildings are the mirrors which render people an insight into the development of one place. Also, tourists always make their decisions on the strength of the unique features of that site, and it is a quite essential element for some tourism-oriented cities. Without beauties and appealing landscape, some places cannot propel their business and function well. In conclusion, I support combining the beauty and utility together and try to maximize the utility of those buildings.
It is true that there have been an increasing number of fascinating and compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
springing up.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
,
however
,
simply
display their charisma
instead
of showing utility.
Personally
speaking, we should strike a balance between appropriate exploitation and beauty design of constructions.

Pragmatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is our
immensely
significant consideration when we intend to utilize the land better. It is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that the land in our universe is
strictly
limited and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
advantage should
be taken
of this scarce resource.
For example
, the establishment of gorgeous and ancient museums is
largely
meant to preserve cultural relics and heritage. From the perspective of spirits, they can better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us human beings recall the history
as well
as reflect upon our reality. If not, lands, built on museums,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be occupied
to convert to industrial plants.
Thus
, premises like museums always serve various purposes.

Another crucial attribute that we put on a premium is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can represent the prowess of one city. Unpredictable natural disasters
constantly
blight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, under which circumstance,
exceptionally
sturdy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
figure
prominently
in safeguarding regions.
Eventually
, mortality and financial implications in these areas can be
amazingly
decreased.

The art of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
into account. Images of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are the mirrors which render
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
an insight into the development of one place.
Also
, tourists always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their decisions on the strength of the unique features of that site, and it is a quite essential element for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tourism-oriented cities. Without beauties and appealing landscape,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places cannot propel their business and function well.

In conclusion
, I support combining the beauty and utility together and try to maximize the utility of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay TPO26-2: Some people like to have their cell or mobile phone with them at all times. Other people prefer not to bring their cell or mobile phone with them everywhere they go, or they choose not to own one at all. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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