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TPO26-1: Think of a book that you have not read but are interested in reading. Explain why the book was important to you. Give specific details and examples to explain your answer. v.2

TPO26-1: Think of a book that you have not read but are interested in reading. Explain why the book was important to you. Give specific details and examples to explain your answer. v. 2
Human and animals, both are two sides of the coin. Both are essential for maintenance of the food chain. Many opine that tax amount received from citizens should be utilized for their beneficiaries, but according to me, part of the collection needs to be used for protection which we will discuss below. Firstly, the environment is a fragile anatomy and same have been misused by humans in the last few decades. Animals are inseparable part of the nature and we have demolished their natural habitat for our benefits. Time and time again animals have been proving their loyalty. Besides, deforestation leads to intervention of animals in a concrete forest in search of the food. We are the prime reason behind their distress life. It is our prime duty to help in restoring their habitat by means of setting up a conservation area such as a national park and safari for them by utilizing collected tax money. Secondly, there are numerous species which are already extinct because of human evolution. We are not only the last generation who has witnessed the extinction of Northern white rhino but also we only can preserve the remaining wild life on the earth. It will be inhuman if we will not act and initiate conserving reaming of the wildlife. Lastly, conservation area will provide protection of animals as well it will protect them from hunters. As a human we have become selfish and does not leave any chance of harming animals. Utmost danger looming over wild animals is global warming. A survey carried out by UNESCO in 2018, ranging from 1, 000 to 10, 000 wildlife are being compromised yearly due to increase in the greenhouse effect. In conclusion, I completely disagree with idea of usage of collective money for development of human.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, both are two sides of the coin. Both are essential for maintenance of the food chain.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
opine that tax amount received from citizens should
be utilized
for their beneficiaries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
according to me, part of the collection needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for protection which we will discuss below.

Firstly
, the environment is a fragile anatomy and same have
been misused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in the last few decades.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
are inseparable part of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nature and
we have demolished their natural habitat for our benefits. Time and time again
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have been proving their loyalty.
Besides
, deforestation leads to intervention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in a concrete forest in search of the food. We are the prime reason behind their distress life. It is our prime duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in restoring their habitat by means of setting up a conservation area such as a national park and safari for them by utilizing collected tax money.

Secondly
, there are numerous species which are already extinct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
evolution. We are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the last generation who has witnessed the extinction of Northern white rhino
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can preserve the remaining wild life on the earth. It will be inhuman if we will not act and initiate conserving reaming of the wildlife.

Lastly
, conservation area will provide protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as well
it will protect them from hunters. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
we have become selfish and does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
any chance of harming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Utmost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
looming over wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is global warming. A survey carried out by UNESCO in 2018, ranging from 1, 000 to 10, 000 wildlife are
being compromised
yearly due to increase in the greenhouse effect.

In conclusion
, I completely disagree with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of usage of collective money for development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO26-1: Think of a book that you have not read but are interested in reading. Explain why the book was important to you. Give specific details and examples to explain your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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