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TPO25-: Students often want to get better grades in their classes. Explain what students should do in order to improve their performance in a class. v.1

TPO25-: Students often want to get better grades in their classes. Explain what students should do in order to improve their performance in a class. v. 1
Work attire is equally important as the quality of work in many companies. Organisations want their employees to dress professionally, however, others consider, work quality being ultimately superior to appearance. This essay will discuss both views and provide my opinions regarding the same. Employees are obliged to follow a strict dress code in companies to look presentable. Clothing is always linked to class and there are several stereotypes attached to a particular dressing style, hence it is important for employees to not intimidate customers from approaching them. For example, a survey done among US citizens indicates that people of low maintenance and tattoos are considered non-approachable, compared to employees wearing formal attire. Therefore, I consider that companies encourage their employees to wear formal wears to increase their brand value by being more presentable. However, there are many multinational companies and startups which promote casual wears as they value the quality of work and productivity over appearance. Apparently, a number of companies, believe in the comfort of their employees and focus on productivity. It creates a positive atmosphere for working and makes employees in charge of their options. For example, companies like Google and Microsoft do not have a dress code which gives a sense of freedom and positive vibe among their staffs. Meanwhile, focusing on quality is indeed obvious on their revenue. From my perspective, the appearance of an employee should not be an issue as far as their work is concerned. To conclude, the value of employee should be assessed by their work and not by their looks as long as workers are not wearing a dress that is appropriate, such as revealing clothes, the sole focus should be on the quality of work. Minimal restrictions on dressing style can enhance a positive mindset among workers, which further helps in productivity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
attire is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisations' is British English.
Organisations
want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
professionally
,
however
, others consider,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
being
ultimately
superior to appearance. This essay will discuss both views and provide my opinions regarding the same.

Employees
are obliged
to follow a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to look presentable. Clothing is always linked to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and there are several stereotypes attached to a particular dressing style,
hence
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to not intimidate customers from approaching them.
For example
, a survey done among US citizens indicates that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of low maintenance and tattoos
are considered
non-approachable, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
wearing formal attire.
Therefore
, I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to wear formal wears to increase their brand value by being more presentable.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and startups which promote casual wears as they value the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and productivity over appearance.
Apparently
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, believe in the comfort of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and focus on productivity. It creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
atmosphere for working and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in charge of their options.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
like Google and Microsoft do not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code which gives a sense of freedom and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
vibe among their staffs. Meanwhile, focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
is
indeed
obvious on their revenue. From my perspective, the appearance of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
should not be an issue as far as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is concerned
.

To conclude
, the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
should
be assessed
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and not by their looks as long as workers are not wearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
that is
appropriate, such as revealing clothes, the sole focus should be on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Minimal restrictions on dressing style can enhance a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mindset among workers, which
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in productivity.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO25-: Students often want to get better grades in their classes. Explain what students should do in order to improve their performance in a class. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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