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students often want to get better grades in their classes. Explain what students should do in order to improve their performance in a class. v.2

students often want to get better grades in their classes. Explain what students should do in order to improve their performance in a class. v. 2
Some countries have experienced a gap between the amounts of salary workers are paid. While some commentators claim the possibility of earning more can be a motivating factor for many employees, in my opinion, policy-makers should be given a right to cap salaries. Being aware of the possibility of making more than his competitors, an employer is likely to work harder to achieve that. Research suggests that the main motivation for people to work more is associated with financial rewards and incentives. It is no secret that the world has become more and more modern due to the effort put by hardworking people, who are not only inspired by the possibility of a more convenient lifestyle but also supporting their families. Thus, even the possibility of earning more can aid many employers to invest more energy and time in their fields. Nevertheless, if the amount of money one person can make is not limited by policy-makers, the wealth gap will not cease to grow. Many workers have been discouraged after being aware of the amount made by their superiors. In other words, once they know how much money their bosses make, their productivity rates decline. Thus, in order to establish a healthier work environment, the government can impose some regulations to prevent the already existing gap from growing further. In conclusion, although motivation of making more can be an inspiring factor in personal growth, I am of the opinion that the government should be given the authority to impose a limit on the maximum amount of salary can be made. I wholeheartedly believe that this can assist both individuals and society to work more peacefully.
Some
countries have experienced a gap between the
amounts
of salary workers
are paid
. While
some
commentators claim the
possibility
of earning more can be a motivating factor for
many
employees, in my opinion, policy-makers should be
given
a right to cap salaries.

Being aware of the
possibility
of making more than his competitors, an employer is likely to
work
harder to achieve that. Research suggests that the main motivation for
people
to
work
more
is associated
with financial rewards and incentives. It is no secret that the world has become more and more modern due to the effort put by hardworking
people
, who are not
only
inspired by the
possibility
of a more convenient lifestyle
but
also
supporting their families.
Thus
, even the
possibility
of earning more can aid
many
employers to invest more energy and time in their fields.

Nevertheless
, if the
amount
of money one person can
make
is not limited by policy-makers, the wealth gap will not cease to grow.
Many
workers have
been discouraged
after being aware of the
amount
made by their superiors.
In other words
, once they know how much money their bosses
make
, their productivity rates decline.
Thus
, in order to establish a healthier
work
environment, the
government
can impose
some
regulations to
prevent
the already existing gap from growing
further
.

In conclusion
, although motivation of making more can be an inspiring factor in personal growth, I am of the opinion that the
government
should be
given
the authority to impose a limit on the maximum
amount
of salary can
be made
. I
wholeheartedly
believe that this can assist both individuals and society to
work
more
peacefully
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay students often want to get better grades in their classes. Explain what students should do in order to improve their performance in a class. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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