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TPO25 – Independent: A/D? Young people nowadays do not give enough time to help their communities. v.2

TPO25 – Independent: A/D? Young people nowadays do not give enough time to help their communities. v. 2
In the contemporary world, people live a very busy lifestyle in which they are overwhelmed with great responsibilities. However, I believe that the juveniles have been able to keep up in such a fast-paced world and have put a lot of effort to support their communities by giving importance to the environment and social welfare. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my perspective. We often ignore the youths' effort to save environment to the future generations. In fact, a lot of campaigns have been initiated to encourage and inform people to protect endangered wildlife. For example, young researchers at universities and colleges have formed groups and campaigns to preserve different species of animals from extinction and to find new ways to produce energy and prevent further pollution and global warming. Hence, juveniles spend a lot of time to conserve nature in its original shape. Social welfare that embraces all aspects of a person' s life - including health, economic, political, social, and psychological dimensions - is provided by young people in the society. Adolescents in several positions in the society try to make the life easier and more convenient for their community members. For instance, a friend of mine works as a teacher in a remote village that is deprived of amenities. She believes that her work improves the country' s welfare because if she raises a mere 2 or 3 hardworking and intelligent students, who did not have a chance to progress, the students will work for the country in the future. By and large, if one assesses the presence of the young people in the society, one soon realizes that they play an important role in helping their community by keeping the environment safe for the next generations and providing social welfare for whole members of the society.
In the contemporary world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy lifestyle in which they
are overwhelmed
with great responsibilities.
However
, I believe that the juveniles have been able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up in such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world and have put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort to support their communities by giving importance to the environment and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my perspective.

We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youths&
#039; effort to save environment to the future generations. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
campaigns have
been initiated
to encourage and inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to protect endangered wildlife.
For example
, young researchers at universities and colleges have formed groups and campaigns to preserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
species of animals from extinction and to find new ways to produce energy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
further
pollution and global warming.
Hence
, juveniles spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to conserve nature in its original shape.

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
that embraces all aspects of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s life
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
including health, economic, political, social, and psychological dimensions
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
is provided
by young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Adolescents in several positions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the life easier and more convenient for their community members.
For instance
, a friend of mine works as a teacher in a remote village that
is deprived
of amenities. She believes that her work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if she raises a mere 2 or 3 hardworking and intelligent students, who did not have a chance to progress, the students will work for the country in the future.

By and large, if one assesses the presence of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realizes that they play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in helping their community by keeping the environment safe for the
next
generations and providing social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
for whole members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay TPO25 – Independent: A/D? Young people nowadays do not give enough time to help their communities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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