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TPO24-2: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students benefit more from classes with a large number of students than they do from smaller classes. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion v.1

TPO24-2: Students benefit more from classes with a large number of students than they do from smaller classes. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion v. 1
Shopping is considered to be a fun activity, although the youth today is using their free period to roam in malls. This trend is proving to be harmful to society. It is a debatable matter as both the arguments are sound. Young adults love about mixing with their friends at shopping centres. It usually has a play area, a food court for whenever anyone gets hungry, movie theatres, and the best part is an indulgence in window-shopping. Girls of a certain age enjoy headings to the various attractions in the mall. They range from beauty salons to make-up shops. Well, the boys would rather lock themselves in the game room filled with lucrative car and bike games. Since, the inception of the malls even families spend their entire day shopping as a fun day out. In every city, the development is based on number of malls as they are self-contained. Moreover, it is a great place for youngsters to pass time while chatting their time away. There are locations to huddle up and gossip. These facilities tend to draw adults to spend longer durations. On the contrary, the money spent is often futile. People end up becoming Shopaholics, as they can't control their buying habits. They often tend to take therapy to get out of this phase. For example: people, who buying unnecessary items even without us. This can have detrimental effects, and hence is feared by society. In conclusion, as mentioned in science that too much of anything leads to a disaster in the same way shopping to a limit is required. Although, excessive purchase is dangerous.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
is considered
to be a fun activity, although the youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is using their free period to roam in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
. This trend is proving to be harmful to society. It is a debatable matter as both the arguments are sound.

Young adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
about mixing with their friends at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. It
usually
has a play area, a food court for whenever anyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
hungry, movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, and the best part is an indulgence in window-shopping. Girls of a certain age enjoy headings to the various attractions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
. They range from beauty salons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
-up shops. Well, the boys would
rather
lock themselves in the game room filled with lucrative car and bike games. Since, the inception of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
even families spend their entire day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a fun day out. In every city, the development
is based
on number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
as they are self-contained.
Moreover
, it is a great place for youngsters to pass time while chatting their time away. There are locations to huddle up and gossip. These facilities tend to draw adults to spend longer durations.

On the contrary
, the money spent is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
futile.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up becoming Shopaholics, as they can't control their buying habits. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to take therapy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of this phase.
For example
:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who buying unnecessary items even without us. This can have detrimental effects, and
hence
is feared
by society.

In conclusion
, as mentioned in science that too much of anything leads to a disaster
in the same way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
to a limit
is required
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay TPO24-2: Students benefit more from classes with a large number of students than they do from smaller classes. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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