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TPO23(independent)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In today’s world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v.1

TPO23(independent) In today’s world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v. 1
The dependence on computer machinery has been increasing in many aspects of our lives, such as business, criminal detection and international aviation. In the future, automation will be used more in many jobs and may replace workers. Although it could have negative effects on some people, it is indisputable that using machinery is way more superior. Computer machinery is becoming increasingly widespread and is being used in different areas. For example, it is being introduced in manufacturing factories. Some companies have already used it while others are still working on it. In addition, technologies have already been integrated into our lives and are constantly improving. Most of it is designed for our conveniences such as smart door, smart house, smart watch and many more smart products. In the future, this concept can be further improved and added to our daily necessities: shoes, shirt, books, pen, etc. . Computer machinery is continuously improving and this is a positive development for mankind. While this could have negative impacts on some, the positive effects of computer technology are much more beneficial. Firstly, using technology is a more efficient and effective way in many areas rather than doing it manually. This is because computers are better at calculating than humans can, and they have many things humans lack such as a processor. Finally, using computer technology can be more cost-efficient in the long run. For example, companies investing in technologies rather than workers can save more money and produce better results. In conclusion, computer technology is still developing and in the future we can expect products that will help and improve our daily lives. Moreover, it is beneficial for us to depend on technology which could increase the quality of our lives.
The dependence on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
has been increasing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, such as business, criminal detection and international aviation. In the future, automation will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs and may replace workers. Although it could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it is indisputable that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
is way more superior.

Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
is becoming
increasingly
widespread and is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas.
For example
, it is
being introduced
in manufacturing factories.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it while others are
still
working on it.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have already
been integrated
into our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and are
constantly
improving. Most of it
is designed
for our conveniences such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
door,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
products. In the future, this concept can be
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to our daily necessities: shoes, shirt, books, pen, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.


Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
is
continuously
improving and this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development for mankind. While this could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are much more beneficial.
Firstly
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a more efficient and effective way in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas
rather
than doing it
manually
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
computers are better at calculating than humans can, and they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things humans lack such as a processor.
Finally
, using computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be more cost-efficient in the long run.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
rather
than workers can save more money and produce better results.

In conclusion
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
still
developing and in the future we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
products that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Moreover
, it is beneficial for us to depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which could increase the quality of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay TPO23(independent) In today’s world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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