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TPO23 – Q2: Some people enjoy spending their free time alone in activities such as reading, thinking or writing; others enjoy spending their free time in sharing activities with other people, which do you prefer and why? v.1

TPO23 – Q2: Some people enjoy spending their free time alone in activities such as reading, thinking or writing; others enjoy spending their free time in sharing activities with other people, which do you prefer and why? v. 1
These days, due to the latest development of the Internet, people can easily provide their feedback or write their perspective about the products which they bought. In my opinion, it is certainly a good thing as reviews help other people in their purchase and help manufacture deciding improvement area, but there are some disadvantages too. Firstly, people’s opinion helps other buyers in choosing the correct product. Sometime buyers wanted to know what might be pros and cons of an item before making any purchase and wanted to compare the products of different brands, so in review you can easily find these things. Secondly, it helps producers to know what are the things people like about their product and what things people don’t find attractive or beneficial so that way they can improve their production. On the other hand, giving opinion may cause some problems too. Sometimes people don’t use the correct language and become offensive while writing reviews. It may hurt some people’s sentiments and can become a big issue; one example of this is the recent Zomato case where one customer refused to take delivery from a Muslim guy and he wrote about the same over twitter for which he got trolled and fined by police. Another issue might be paid reviews. These days, many vendors are getting paid reviews for their products to fool prospective clients so if this continues it may become a big problem in the near future for customers because people easily believe on reviews. In conclusion, there are certainly some disadvantages of writing reviews over the internet, but there is a plethora of benefits too.
These days, due to the latest development of the Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
provide their feedback or write their perspective about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
. In my opinion, it is
certainly
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reviews
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
manufacture deciding improvement area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages too.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
other buyers in choosing the correct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Sometime buyers wanted to know what might be pros and cons of an item
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and wanted to compare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
review
you can
easily
find these things.
Secondly
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
producers to know what are the things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and what things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t find attractive or beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that way they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their production.

On the other hand
, giving opinion may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems too.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the correct language and become offensive while writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reviews
. It may hurt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
sentiments and can become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue; one example of this is the recent
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zomato
case where one customer refused to take delivery from a Muslim
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
guy and
he wrote about the same over twitter for which he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
trolled and fined by police. Another issue might
be paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reviews
. These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vendors are getting paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reviews
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to fool prospective clients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if this continues it may become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem in the near future for customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
believe on reviews.

In conclusion
, there are
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reviews
over the internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is a plethora of benefits too.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO23 – Q2: Some people enjoy spending their free time alone in activities such as reading, thinking or writing; others enjoy spending their free time in sharing activities with other people, which do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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