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TPO23 – Independent: A/D? In today's world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v.2

TPO23 – Independent: A/D? In today's world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v. 2
When one starts to do a task, the results are the most important part of the job. In this regard, some people are inclined toward the opinion that making risks and doing the job quickly leads to a successful result whereas others hold exactly the opposite perspective. The way I see it, slow and less risky action is the best way to achieve the desired results because it avoids irrecoverable mistakes and there would be enough time to spend on details of the task and to study required background for the work. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my viewpoint. An important privilege of working slowly is to prevent any blunder. The one who does a duty hastily and carelessly cannot consider the every aspects of the issue and may commit an irreparable mistake. An empirical study comparing two groups of people who do the same task but with different speed is performed by the researchers. The group who worked faster only was looking forward to finish the job and the result was not important. On the other hand, the group who worked calmly were constantly testing their actions in every stage to see whether they did their best. The results indicates that the faster the activity is, the more the mistakes will be. Working slowly will provide some extra time to spend on necessary matters such as the details and history of the job which play a decisive role in reaching an appropriate outcome. For example, working on a physiological and biological experiment requires to consider several tiny aspects of the issue to find out how an organ acts in the body. When the researcher does experiment on a specific application of the brain by stimulating it, to find out the real reaction of the brain the other factors affected by the same motive should be considered as well. This happens when the researchers spends enough time on the experiment and the previous relevant studies, otherwise he will miss the genuine and proper consequence of the brain test. Decisively, avoiding hasty and risky decisions will result in a successful outcome because slow operation provides enough time which can be allocated to study the past information and to assess the details carefully. In addition, taking risks and deciding quickly increases the mistakes during doing the tasks.
When one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are inclined
toward the opinion that making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
quickly
leads to a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
whereas others hold exactly the opposite perspective. The way I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it, slow and less risky action is the best way to achieve the desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it avoids irrecoverable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
and there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
required background for the work. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my viewpoint.

An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
privilege of working
slowly
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any blunder. The one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
does a duty
hastily
and
carelessly
cannot consider the every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "aspect"?
aspects
of the issue and may commit an irreparable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
. An empirical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
comparing two groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
speed
is performed
by the researchers. The group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
worked faster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
was looking forward
In the grammatical structure 'look + forward + to + verb', the verb 'to' is used with the gerund: "to finishing".
to finish
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
On the other hand
, the group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
worked
calmly
were
constantly
testing their actions in every stage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
whether they did their best. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
You should probably use "indicate".
indicates
that the faster the activity is, the more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
will be.

Working
slowly
will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend on necessary matters such as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and history of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which play a decisive role in reaching an appropriate outcome.
For example
, working on a physiological and biological experiment requires
Did you mean "considering"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to consider
several tiny aspects of the issue to find out how an organ acts in the body. When the researcher does experiment on a specific application of the brain by stimulating it, to find out the real reaction of the brain the other factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the same motive should
be considered
as well
. This happens when the researchers
You should probably use "spend".
spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the experiment and the previous relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
,
otherwise
he will miss the genuine and proper consequence of the brain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.

Decisively
, avoiding hasty and risky decisions will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in a successful outcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
slow operation provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which can
be allocated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the past information and to assess the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
carefully
.
In addition
, taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and deciding
quickly
increases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
during doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO23 – Independent: A/D? In today's world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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