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TPO-23- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In today’s world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. Use specific reasons and examples to support your v.2

TPO-23- In today’s world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. Use specific reasons and examples to support your v. 2
Although, few individual thinks that the community service which are not charged should be made compulsory for high school pupils. I agree this to a large extent for some reasons. My position is argued further with explanations. Out of all the reasons, the strongest one to prove my point is that this thing would help the students for making them a person that can help any person around them when they see them in need. By this I mean that it is helpful to make a child with helping nature. Furthermore, involving in such services will boost their social experience and sophomores can connect with every type of people around them. For instance, there is a school in my hometown named as 'Aleef English Medium School' which use to encourage the pupils to gather old clothes which they own and donate to the needy people by the guidance of the faculty so this actually help children to gain experience as well as knowledge about helping poor persons Adding few more reasons, doing such activities will help the undergraduates to get involved in a task where teamwork is required and is the most important factor. As a result doing work in a team will help them for their career. Additionally, by teaching sport or other activities with their fellow classmates can help them first as they can become expert in such field. However, I would not overlook the other side too. To begin with, it is true that the academics are time consuming and if students focus on such activities then they will probably lose the interest in education. In addition to this, not every pupil would take it seriously and doing such can affect their career Thus, to conclude the discussion, it can finally be said that despite the fact that sophomores has got less time to study. I believe that a socially active candidate is more rational.
Although, few individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the community service which are not charged should
be made
compulsory for high school pupils. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this to a large extent for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. My position
is argued
further
with explanations.

Out of all the reasons, the strongest one to prove my point is that this thing would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the students for making them a person that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
any person around them when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them in need. By this I mean that it is helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a child with helping nature.
Furthermore
, involving in such services will boost their social experience and sophomores can connect with every type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them.
For instance
, there is a school in my hometown named as '
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aleef
English Medium School' which
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
encourage the pupils to gather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
clothes which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and donate to the needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by the guidance of the faculty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
children to gain experience
as well
as knowledge about helping poor
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
persons


Adding few more reasons, doing such activities will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the undergraduates to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in a task where teamwork
is required
and is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor.
As a result
doing work in a team will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them for their career.
Additionally
, by teaching sport or other activities with their
Consider using "classmates".
fellow classmates
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
first
as they can become expert in such field.

However
, I would not overlook the other side too. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is true that the academics are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and if students focus on such activities then they will
probably
lose the interest in education.
In addition
to this, not every pupil would take it
seriously
and doing such can affect their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
career


Thus
,
to conclude
the discussion, it can
finally
be said
that despite the fact that sophomores has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
less time to study. I believe that a
socially
active candidate is more rational.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay TPO-23- In today’s world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. Use specific reasons and examples to support your v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
318 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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