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TPO-14: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO-14: People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
It is generally accepted that enrolling in a gym membership is an ideal way to be in shape. However, some people argue that daily activities such as ascending and descending on a staircase or having a morning walk are more than enough. To begin with, acquiring a gym membership has many beneficial factors to consider. Moreover, today we live in a world which is depleted in technologies, this leads to the increase of computer-based jobs, which solely based on sitting on the chair or at the office all day long without any active activities, which rarely involves the movement of our body, this is where gym/sports club play a significant role, furthermore, working out in a gym gives us extensive muscle workout throughout the body for muscle and bones, also reduce many health issues such as obesity and osteoporosis. Nonetheless, the majority of gyms across many cities provide accommodation such as sauna and steam bath, which help our mind and body to relax and attain a state of peace. On the other hand, some claim that daily cliche activities like clambering on a stair or walking to buy regular grocery give enough exercise to the frame. Thus, there is no need to purchase a gymnasium membership. Besides, we can save money without joining a gym by doing this simple daily activity. Also, we live in a busy world, where it is impossible to allocate extra time for leisure and exercise. Nevertheless, there are many exercises which can be done at the comfort of our home. In conclusion, I think working out in a gym more efficient and effective than considering the day to day activities, because it involves more muscle movement equally spread across our body than clambering over stairs
It is
generally
accepted
that enrolling in a
gym
membership is an ideal way to be in shape.
However
,
some
people
argue that daily
activities
such as ascending and descending on a staircase or having a morning walk are more than
enough
.

To
begin
with, acquiring a
gym
membership has
many
beneficial factors to consider.
Moreover
,
today
we
live
in a world which
is depleted
in technologies, this leads to the increase of computer-based jobs, which
solely
based on sitting on the chair or at the office all day long without any active
activities
, which rarely involves the movement of our
body
, this is where gym/sports club play a significant role,
furthermore
, working out in a
gym
gives us extensive muscle workout throughout the
body
for muscle and bones,
also
reduce
many
health issues such as obesity and osteoporosis. Nonetheless, the majority of
gyms
across
many
cities provide accommodation such as sauna and steam bath, which
help
our mind and
body
to relax and attain a state of peace.

On the other hand
,
some
claim that daily
cliche
activities
like clambering on a stair or walking to
buy
regular grocery give
enough
exercise to the frame.
Thus
, there is no need to
purchase
a gymnasium membership.
Besides
, we can save money without joining a
gym
by doing this simple daily
activity
.
Also
, we
live
in a busy world, where it is impossible to allocate extra time for leisure and exercise.
Nevertheless
, there are
many
exercises which can
be done
at the comfort of our home.

In conclusion
, I
think
working out in a
gym
more efficient and effective than considering the
day to day
activities
,
because
it involves more muscle movement
equally
spread across our
body
than clambering over stairs
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay TPO-14: People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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