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TPO14 Q2 A D One of the best ways to learn is by making mistakes Use specific examples and details to support your opinion v.1

TPO14 Q2 A D One of the best ways to learn is by making mistakes Use specific examples and details to support your opinion v. 1
With the advancement of technology, accessibility of the internet has been increased to a greater extent. Some people take it as a positive revolution, while others argue it to have a negative impact on our lives. In my opinion, It is a positive trend which has made every aspect of our life easier than ever before. The web accessibility has impacted each and every area of our life. Firstly, on the social side, It has enabled us to connect with people all around the globe, as now a days our friend circle can expand to overseas and is not confined to a local area. For example, using social media we can make friends from different countries, moreover, it has provided us an opportunity to meet people who share common interest worldwide. Secondly, on the educational side, the internet has facilitated students and teachers with various tools and data which has revolutionised the teaching process to make it easy and fun, for instance, 3D projectors have turned boring graphs and charts into interesting recordings, on top of it, with the internet, students can study from any teacher on any part of the world online, he can submit assignments on-line and tutors can evaluate them easily. Many universities these days provide online programs for those who are unable to join full time courses due to their work commitments or other reasons, this way they can enhance their skills while working. Lastly, on the business perspective, the internet has broadened the market globally, as now using this source entrepreneurs can get clients from a wide range of the world. Furthermore, now people need not to present physically in meetings, they can expand their team globally and can meet them virtually every day, for example, using Skype they can perform business calls and face to face meetings over a video call every day. Furthermore, many people who cannot commute or have some restrictions to reach metropolitan cities can work remotely for the companies over there, hence, the internet has broken the barrier of locality to skilled people. In conclusion, easy reachability to data through internet has facilitated us in each and every way. In my opinion, it is completely beneficial for us.
With the advancement of technology, accessibility of the internet has
been increased
to a greater extent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take it as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
revolution, while others argue it to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In my opinion, It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend which has made every aspect of our life easier than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

The web accessibility has impacted each and every area of our life.
Firstly
, on the social side, It has enabled us to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the globe, as
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
our friend circle can expand to overseas and is not confined to a local area.
For example
, using social media we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries,
moreover
, it has provided us an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who share common interest worldwide.

Secondly
, on the educational side, the internet has facilitated students and teachers with various tools and data which has
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the teaching process to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy and fun,
for instance
, 3D projectors have turned boring graphs and charts into interesting recordings, on top of it, with the internet, students can study from any teacher on any part of the world online, he can submit assignments on-line and tutors can evaluate them
easily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
universities these days provide online programs for those who are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
full time courses due to their work commitments or other reasons, this way they can enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
while working.

Lastly
, on the business perspective, the internet has broadened the market globally, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
using this source entrepreneurs can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
clients from a wide range of the world.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need not
Did you mean "present"?
to present
physically
in meetings, they can expand their team globally and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them
virtually
every day,
for example
, using Skype they can perform business calls and face to face meetings over a video call every day.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot commute or have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions to reach metropolitan cities can work
remotely
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
over there,
hence
, the internet has broken the barrier of locality to skilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, easy
Possible spelling mistake found.
reachability
to data through internet has facilitated us in each and every way. In my opinion, it is completely beneficial for us.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO14 Q2 A D One of the best ways to learn is by making mistakes Use specific examples and details to support your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
368 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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