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tpo12. task1. What is the most efficient type of transportation in your country? Explain why you think it is efficient. Include specific reasons or examples. v.1

tpo12. task1. What is the most efficient type of transportation in your country? Explain why you think it is efficient. Include specific reasons or examples. v. 1
In the salad days of the millennium, peoples often attend the business meeting with their family member to various countries. While this offers a few advantages, there are also some disadvantages which are worth considering. There are two main benefits to bringing their families together for a business trip. The main one is that, the members could enjoy their trip as a vacation period. The kids also able to spend more time with their parents and enjoy the local attractions with more fun. As a result, bonding within the families will increase and bring more happiness for them. Another advantage is that, the members could be a great companion and also provides ideas for their business growth. Consequently, in the business meet people from various countries will attend and they could be able to understand different cultures and their way of living. On the other hand, various drawbacks may be noted. A major disadvantage is that, the members could be a distraction for their meeting because of the family issues. Additionally, it is also expensive for them to spend such as including the fight charges, room accommodation and other fun activates. To illustrate, last month my friend attended business trip in Europe along with family members and that leads to many problems. In conclusion, if people attend the business meets in foreign countries and they could enjoy their precious time. However, they face lot of family issues and leads to misunderstanding. Therefore, it is necessary to weigh the benefits against the drawbacks carefully before coming to a decision as to whether business people bring their family members for the meet.
In the salad days of the millennium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
meeting with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
to various countries. While
Did you mean "these"?
this
offers a few advantages, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages which are worth considering.

There are two main benefits to bringing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
together for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
trip. The main one is that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
could enjoy their trip as a vacation period. The kids
also
able to spend more time with their parents and enjoy the local attractions with more fun.
As a result
, bonding within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
will increase and bring more happiness for them. Another advantage is that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
could be a great companion and
also
provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
growth.
Consequently
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various countries will
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
attend and
they could be able to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and their way of living.

On the other hand
, various drawbacks may
be noted
.

A major disadvantage is that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
could be a distraction for their meeting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
issues.
Additionally
, it is
also
expensive for them to spend such as including the fight charges, room accommodation and other fun activates. To illustrate, last month my friend attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
trip in Europe along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and that leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.

In conclusion
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
meets in foreign
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
countries and
they could enjoy their precious time.
However
, they face
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
issues and leads to misunderstanding.
Therefore
, it is necessary to weigh the benefits against the drawbacks
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a decision
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo12. task1. What is the most efficient type of transportation in your country? Explain why you think it is efficient. Include specific reasons or examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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