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7. s2. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important lessons cannot be learned in classrooms. v.1

7. s2. The most important lessons cannot be learned in classrooms. v. 1
In the salad days of the millennium, it is argued by some people that the daily articles on media associated with pictures are more powerful than news in words. I strongly agree with this opinion and this essay will state the reasons for my view about daily articles. The most compelling reason for holding my view is that the news information in the form of pictures is an effective way of presenting the information to the citizens. This is because information's are easy to understand by the people from younger to older generations. The Asian countries are a prime example where 40 % of the population is aged between 65 to 95 years old have difficulties in reading and listening to the news. As a result, this will increase peoples to know more about the happening's around the world. Another reason for my position is the cost of printing paper is increasing globally. The articles are developed by few process such as gathering news, proof reading, editing and printing. Despite, we can use cartoon characters as a representative instead of words. However, by this way companies are able to control the paper production cost and increase the paper circulation to reach more number of people. A final reason in support of my viewpoint is that, the information with pictures which is telecasted in multimedia platform improves the viewer ship worldwide. This is also another way for advertising companies in order to increase their revenues. In conclusion, I totally agree with the opinion that new stories published with images are beneficial for countries. Furthermore, local companies would be able to save costs and it is recommended that companies around the world should adapt this form of image publish.
In the salad days of the millennium, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that the daily articles on media associated with pictures are more powerful than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in words. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and this essay will state the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for my view about daily articles.

The most compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for holding my view is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
information in the form of pictures is an effective way of presenting the information to the citizens. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
information's are easy to understand by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from younger to older generations. The Asian countries are a prime example where 40 % of the population
is aged
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 65 and 95".
between 65 to 95
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
have difficulties in reading and listening to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
As a result
, this will increase peoples to know more about the happening's around the world.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for my position is the cost of printing paper is increasing globally. The articles
are developed
by
Possible agreement error. The noun process seems to be countable; consider using: "few processes".
few process
such as gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
,
This word is normally spelled as one.
proof reading
, editing and printing. Despite, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cartoon characters as a representative
instead
of words.
However
, by this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are able to control the paper production cost and increase the paper circulation to reach more number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

A final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
in support of my viewpoint is that, the information with pictures which is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
in multimedia platform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the viewer ship worldwide. This is
also
another way for advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in order to increase their revenues.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
stories published with images are beneficial for countries.
Furthermore
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
would be able to save costs and it
is recommended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
around the world should adapt this form of image publish.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 7. s2. The most important lessons cannot be learned in classrooms. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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