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tpo11. task3Housing Renovations PlannedOver the last ten years, the number of Central College students living on campus in dormitories has decreased by twenty percent. In an effort to counteract the trend, the college has announced a plan to renovate its v.1

tpo11. task3Housing Renovations PlannedOver the last ten years, the number of Central College students living on campus in dormitories has decreased by twenty percent. In an effort to counteract the trend, the college has announced a plan to renovate its v. 1
People have different views about the effectiveness of homework in children’s educational developments. While the assignments given to kids can sometimes be useful in improving their performance at school, I tend to believe that the ability to spend time exploring other activities outside of school is more important. On the one hand, a specific amount of homework is definitely an essential part in the education of children. At school, children are taught a wide range of theories and concepts and the setting of homework is a perfect opportunity for students to review materials that are covered in the classroom. School-aged children can develop and progress entirely at their own pace while completing the school work they take home. For example, math definitely encourages young pupils to improve problem solving ability which can be an advantage later in the adult life. Having such vital skills on school-leavers’ CV can definitely impress many university admission officers or business employers. It can be therefore argued that homework should be encouraged in order to enhance students’ performance in school as well as prepare them for adult life. On the other hand, it is perhaps even more important for a child to take a break from his education. Extra assignments given to children, particularly younger school going children, can lead to extremely high levels of stress. For instance, repeated exposure to the abundance of schooling exercises and assignments, students may feel stressed and anxious, and they might fail to complete the assignments on time. Children also need time to spend with their family, catch up with friends and attend extracurricular activities so they can refresh their minds and bodies. Sadly, homework eats up the time children have to do all these, and makes it difficult for them to strike a balance between school and play. Personally, I would agree that children should be given more leisure time to enjoy life after school. In conclusion, I can understand why some people might want to encourage extra assignments for pupils, but it seems to me that it is better to spend some time exploring other things outside of the classroom.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the effectiveness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
educational developments. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assignments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to kids can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be useful in improving their performance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I tend to believe that the ability to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
exploring other activities outside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand, a specific amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
is definitely an essential part in the education of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
a wide range of theories and concepts and the setting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
is a perfect opportunity for students to review materials that
are covered
in the classroom. School-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can develop and progress
entirely
at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace while completing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
work they take home.
For example
, math definitely encourages young pupils to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
problem solving ability which can be an advantage later in the adult life. Having such vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
on school-leavers’ CV can definitely impress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
university admission officers or business employers. It can be
therefore
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
should
be encouraged
in order to enhance students’ performance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as well
as prepare them for adult life.

On the other hand
, it is perhaps even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a child to take a break from his education. Extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assignments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
particularly
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, can lead to
extremely
high levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For instance
, repeated exposure to the abundance of schooling exercises and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assignments
, students may feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and anxious, and they might fail to complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assignments
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
also
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their family, catch up with friends and attend extracurricular activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can refresh their minds and bodies.
Sadly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
eats up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do all these, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it difficult for them to strike a balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and play.
Personally
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy life after school.

In conclusion
, I can understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might want to encourage extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assignments
for pupils,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it seems to me that it is better to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
exploring other things
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the classroom.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo11. task3Housing Renovations PlannedOver the last ten years, the number of Central College students living on campus in dormitories has decreased by twenty percent. In an effort to counteract the trend, the college has announced a plan to renovate its v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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