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TPO11_ Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons v.2

TPO11_ Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons v. 2
The advent of the internet has changed our lives from different perspectives. We can have access to every information we are seeking in a fraction of a second. The impacts that this fact can have are disputed. I subscribe to the view that the overall impact of getting information from the internet is positive. First of all, having access to the Internet, researchers can find the information they are looking for much easier and faster, and as a result, they can save their times to concentrate on innovative parts of research. A few decade ago, researchers needed to spend too much time in order to go to the library and look for the information they needed in hundreds of books, and even if they could find the information after several hours of searching the library books, it could have been dated. Another aspect of research that has perfectly developed is having access to data from different experiments all over the world. For example, the information from particle physics experiments conducted in large particle colliders is available to researcher all over the world. In addition to research materials, another merit of the internet is that people can rate different materials, criticize them, and provide the potential audience with extra information. Take a movie as an example; numerous people have ranked each movie on IMDB website. There are also many criticisms about each movie from artistic and general points of view. There is also a parent guide on IMDB whereby parents can decide whether let their children watch a specific movie ar not. On the other hand, not all the information provided on the Internet is credible. An internet user is prone to be a victim of the political or religious parties who use the internet in order to advertise their benefits. Moreover, rumors can spread at an astounding pace through the internet. So, the internet user should be aware of these destructive materials and try to avoid them. To sum up, even though I admit that the information provided on the net can be destructive by times, I hold the view that the benefits of the internet information outweigh its disadvantages.
The advent of the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives. We can have access to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
we are seeking in a fraction of a second. The impacts that this fact can have
are disputed
. I subscribe to the view that the
overall
impact of getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, having access to the Internet, researchers can find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they are looking for much easier and faster, and
as a result
, they can save their times to concentrate on innovative parts of research. A few decade ago, researchers needed to spend too much time in order to go to the library and look for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they needed in hundreds of books, and even if they could find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
after several hours of searching the library books, it could have
been dated
. Another aspect of research that has
perfectly
developed is having access to data from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
experiments all over the world.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from particle physics experiments conducted in large particle colliders is available to researcher all over the world.

In addition
to research materials, another merit of the internet is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
materials, criticize them, and provide the potential audience with extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
as an example; numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have ranked each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on IMDB website. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
criticisms about each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
from artistic and general points of view. There is
also
a parent guide on IMDB whereby parents can decide whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake found.
ar
not.

On the other hand
, not all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
provided on the Internet is credible. An internet user is prone to be a victim of the political or religious parties who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet in order to advertise their benefits.
Moreover
, rumors can spread at an astounding pace through the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the internet user should be aware of these destructive materials and try to avoid them.

To sum up,
even though
I admit that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
provided on the net can be destructive by times, I hold the view that the benefits of the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
outweigh its disadvantages.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO11_ Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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