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TPO (S4-Q1): What do you miss most about your home when you are away? Use specific details in your explanation. v.1

TPO (S4-Q1): What do you miss most about your home when you are away? Use specific details in your explanation. v. 1
According to some people, the government should not spend money on space exploration. I agree with this view. In my opinion, there are other areas that need public spending. Also, space exploration is not crucial for the development of a country. Of course, there are some benefits to investing in space research. It helps us to learn more about the universe we are a part of. Also, there is a possibility that some space missions may find life on other planets. We may also be able to find other inhabitable planets. Since, population growth is leading to a resource crunch on planet earth, finding another planet that can sustain life is in the larger interest of the whole humanity. On the other hand, there is no guarantee that we will find another planet that we can colonize. It is a mere possibility and it may take hundreds or thousands of years before we actually manage to achieve it. Hence, spending public money on such projects is unlikely to offer much in return at the moment. What’s more, there are several other pressing needs on earth that need immediate resolution. For example, millions of people still do not have access to potable water or education. Even today, thousands of people die in war and conflicts almost every day. It is foolish to spend money on space programmes before addressing these issues. Actually, making our planet more livable is much better than finding another planet to live in. In conclusion, although outer space exploration projects help us to learn more about the universe, these projects are not crucial for the development of a country. Moreover, public money should be spent on more pressing issues like healthcare and education because they directly impact the public.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. In my opinion, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas that need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
spending.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration is not crucial for the development of a country.

Of course
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
research. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to learn more about the universe we are a part of.
Also
, there is a possibility that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
missions may find life on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
. We may
also
be able to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
inhabitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
. Since, population growth is leading to a resource crunch on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
earth, finding another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
that can sustain life is in the larger interest of the whole humanity.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there is no guarantee that we will find another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
that we can colonize. It is a mere possibility and it may take hundreds or thousands of years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we actually manage to achieve it.
Hence
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on such projects is unlikely to offer much in
The usual collocation for "return" is "to" not "at" with. Did you mean "return to"?
return at
the moment. What’s more, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
pressing needs on earth that need immediate resolution.
For example
, millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
do not have access to potable water or education. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
in war and conflicts almost every day. It is foolish to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
addressing these issues. Actually, making our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
more livable is much better than finding another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

In conclusion
, although outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration projects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to learn more about the universe, these projects are not crucial for the development of a country.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
on more pressing issues like healthcare and education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
directly
impact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay TPO (S4-Q1): What do you miss most about your home when you are away? Use specific details in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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