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What do you miss most about your home when you are away? Use specific details in your explanation. v.1

What do you miss most about your home when you are away? Use specific details in your explanation. v. 1
It seems unusual, but true, that crime is an inevitable factor in the present scenario. There has been ranging debates on this concern, while some people believe that the relevant authorities should enforce constraints on both electronic and print media devote a large amount of airtime and space to publishing about felony in a country. However, I believe that it is necessary to be banned such details about criminals, which are deleterious to the society. It is widely known that the primary purpose of the press and media is to boost the newspaper circulations and television ratings. As a consequence of this competition, they are unable to establish the authenticity of the details they publish; publishing exaggerated news to increase popularity creates uncertainty about the security and the rulers of the country. On the other hand, this may caused with the citizens who seek legal aid to combat crime are afraid to provide evidence to reduce crime by feeling that they are at a risk of living. Moreover, the most significant factor is that the criminals who are the detailed reports of felonies exposure on the media may provide the potential criminals with instructive learning materials, which would be hard to obtain. In addition, this may assist felons to keep their process of planning their criminals perfect; avoid the pitfalls and make them harder to track down by the law. However, this sets a negative precedent for society and creates an opportunity for criminals to cover up their crimes. It strikes me that mass media create numerous stories about crime and the reputable culprits in the country. Not only do they seek to educate the public, but they also gain reputation through the media institutions they represent. This raises confusion about the authenticity of the news they publish. Moreover, by being aware of organized crime groups in the state, this information will assist them in their future transgressions. Taking everything into consideration, it is true that both electronic media and fourth estates are reporting crimes, but it generates a bad consequence to the society. However, if the government access certain restrictions when reporting criminal activities, it may not disclose information about crimes that have been committed, future misdemeanours can be minimized. Otherwise, it creates a constant fear among the citizens about the peaceful atmosphere prevailing in the country.
It seems unusual,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
true, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is an inevitable factor in the present scenario. There has been ranging debates on this concern, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the relevant authorities should enforce constraints on both electronic and print
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
devote a large amount of airtime and space to publishing about felony in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, I believe that it is necessary to
be banned
such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, which are deleterious to the society.

It is
widely
known that the primary purpose of the press and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is to boost the newspaper circulations and television ratings. As a consequence of this competition, they are unable to establish the authenticity of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
they publish; publishing exaggerated news to increase popularity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
uncertainty about the security and the rulers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
On the other hand
, this may caused with the citizens who seek legal aid to combat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are afraid to provide evidence to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by feeling that they are at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of living.

Moreover
, the most significant factor is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who are the detailed reports of felonies exposure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
may provide the potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
with instructive learning materials, which would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to obtain.
In addition
, this may assist felons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their process of planning their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
perfect; avoid the pitfalls and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them harder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
down by the law.
However
, this sets a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
precedent for society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to cover up their crimes.

It strikes me that mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
numerous stories about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and the reputable culprits in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they seek to educate the public,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
gain reputation through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
institutions they represent. This raises confusion about the authenticity of the news they publish.
Moreover
, by being aware of organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
groups in the state, this information will assist them in their future transgressions.

Taking everything into consideration, it is true that both electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and fourth estates are reporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it generates a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
The usual preposition to use after "consequence" is not "to". Did you mean "consequence of", "consequence for", or "consequence on"?
consequence to
the society.
However
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
access certain restrictions when reporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities, it may not disclose information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that have
been committed
, future
Possible spelling mistake found.
misdemeanours
can
be minimized
.
Otherwise
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
a constant fear among the citizens about the peaceful atmosphere prevailing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay What do you miss most about your home when you are away? Use specific details in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
388 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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