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TPO 7It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts. v.1

TPO 7It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts. v. 1
A few people reckon that the profit earned in a business is the ultimate factor to determine a personal achievement, whereas there are other parts which are highly conducive to assess victory in the company. In this essay, I shall explain the reasons for the former viewpoint, along with the other contributing methods to estimate the success rate. On the one hand, there are myriad reasons to claim the money as a deciding factor for success in an entrepreneur's life. First and foremost, money has the highest visibility, while it is directly connected with the status of a person because it showed via the lifestyle of an individual. For instance, a businessman who possesses a huge revenue would definitely upgrade his living style like a house, an expensive car, and other real-estate properties and so on. Consequently, people could find that the business person made the biggest turnover in his firms which is purely visible. On the contrary, while it is true that the monetary value gained in the business is really matters, this could not be considered as the exact symbol of achievement. Firstly, a good conglomerate could be recognised by the reputation it earns through the proper administrations. For instance, providing a regular salary to staffs, maintaining high-end infrastructure, tie-up with overseas traders, and finally the revenue it generates. Since, all these aspects are interlinked with one another, failing to satisfy one condition could end up in a massive pitfall for the private firm, hence, the reliability is also paramount. In conclusion, the quantum of money earned by a person in his organisation might depict his supremacy, but still, there are other factors like standards and honour would be a relevant to ascertain an individual victory.
A few
people
reckon that the profit earned in a business is the ultimate factor to determine a personal achievement, whereas there are
other
parts which are
highly
conducive to assess victory in the
company
. In this essay, I shall
explain
the reasons for the former viewpoint, along with the
other
contributing methods to estimate the success rate.

On the one hand, there are myriad reasons to claim the money as a deciding factor for success in an entrepreneur's life.
First
and foremost, money has the highest visibility, while it is
directly
connected with the status of a person
because
it
showed
via the lifestyle of an individual.
For instance
, a businessman who possesses a huge revenue would definitely upgrade his living style like a
house
, an expensive car, and
other
real-estate properties and
so
on.
Consequently
,
people
could find that the business person made the biggest turnover in his firms which is
purely
visible.

On the contrary
, while it is true that the monetary value gained in the business is
really
matters, this could not
be considered
as the exact symbol of achievement.
Firstly
, a
good
conglomerate could be
recognised
by the reputation it earns through the proper administrations.
For instance
, providing a regular salary to staffs, maintaining high-
end
infrastructure, tie-up with overseas traders, and
finally
the revenue it generates. Since, all these aspects
are interlinked
with one another, failing to satisfy one condition could
end
up in a massive pitfall for the private firm,
hence
, the reliability is
also
paramount.

In conclusion
, the quantum of money earned by a person in his
organisation
might depict his supremacy,
but
still
, there are
other
factors like standards and
honour
would be a relevant to ascertain an individual victory.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay TPO 7It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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