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Tpo 53When some people have a little extra money, they like to spend it right away on something they enjoy. Others prefer to save the extra money. Which do you like to do? Explain why. v.1

Tpo 53When some people have a little extra money, they like to spend it right away on something they enjoy. Others prefer to save the extra money. Which do you like to do? Explain why. v. 1
It is often thought that a lot of young adults are going away from their houses in the countryside to the city centres to provide employment or start an education. In my point of view, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. In the next paragraphs, I will discuss the positive and the negative impacts of this issue. The main advantage of this process is that the youngsters are able to develop themselves. The reason for this is that they will increase their knowledge in a specific job to become successful in the future. For example, it can be seen that a huge amount of students is following their education in another state, with the thought to receive the most excellent study. Moreover, this will also lead to a higher position in the upcoming days. All in all, it can be really positive for the future. The main disadvantage is that the parents are not able to see their children often. The reason for this is that the cities are sometimes too far to make frequent movements. Moreover, this can also lead to loneliness by both sides. For example, the distance between the state and countryside is merely three hours, which makes it too hard to make regular visits. So, that's why it is negative and not a simple way to stay with your family. To conclude, youngsters are leaving their homes to take part in an educational course or to find a job in another country. This can be positive because it can make you prepared for the upcoming days. Although, this development can lead to the facts that parents are not able to see their children often.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young adults are going away from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in the countryside to the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to provide employment or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
an education. In my point of view, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. In the
next
paragraphs, I will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of this issue.

The main advantage of this process is that the youngsters are able to develop themselves.
The reason for this is
that they will increase their knowledge in a specific job to become successful in the future.
For example
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that a huge amount of students is following their education in another state, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to receive the most excellent study.
Moreover
, this will
also
lead to a higher position in the upcoming days. All in all, it can be
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for the future.

The main disadvantage is that the parents are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
The reason for this is
that the cities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
too far to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
frequent movements.
Moreover
, this can
also
lead to loneliness by both sides.
For example
, the distance between the state and countryside is
merely
three hours, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
regular visits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that's why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and not a simple way to stay with your family.

To conclude
, youngsters are leaving their homes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in an educational course or to find a job in another country. This can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you prepared for the upcoming days.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, this development can lead to the facts that parents are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Tpo 53When some people have a little extra money, they like to spend it right away on something they enjoy. Others prefer to save the extra money. Which do you like to do? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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