Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the man features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location
How much freedom children should be given on everyday matters is controversial. People who are against allowing boundless liberty to children, believe allowing too much liberty would create selfish individuals in our society while others think it is necessary to nurture creativity and to create self-reliant individuals. I personally believe that parents should neither give absolute immunity to their children nor they should restrain them in every matter - there must be a balance. On the one hand, permitting children to do whatever they want and letting them chose everything they like on a daily basis would convince youngsters that they can do whatever they like. This is detrimental to the growth of children and those children would become selfish and self centred when they grow up. Scientific research reveals that someone’s childhood experience has a permanent effect on his personality and thinking pattern. This is why parents should make important decisions for their offspring and deter them from doing things that are harmful to their psychological and physical growth. On the other hand, psychologists express that if parents do not allow their children to pick certain things on their own and restrict them on everything, the children would become fragile-minded and lack confidence. If children cannot choose things they like and do not have any freedom of choice, would end up being less creative than those who were given the immunity to make their own decisions. To conclude, our society needs more creative and selfless people and that is why we should allow a certain freedom to our child but there should be a boundary of this liberty.
How much freedom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
on everyday matters is controversial.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who are against allowing boundless liberty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, believe allowing too much liberty would create selfish individuals in our society while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is necessary to nurture creativity and to create self-reliant individuals. I
personally
believe that parents should neither give absolute immunity to their
Use a comma before 'nor' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children nor
they should restrain them in every matter
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a balance.

On the one hand, permitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do whatever they want and letting them chose everything they like on a daily basis would convince youngsters that they can do whatever they like. This is detrimental to the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would become selfish and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self centred
when they grow up. Scientific research reveals that someone’s childhood experience has a permanent effect on his personality and thinking pattern. This is why parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions for their offspring and deter them from doing things that are harmful to their psychological and physical growth.

On the other hand
, psychologists express that if parents do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to pick certain things on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and restrict them on everything, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would become fragile-minded and lack confidence. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot choose things they like and do not have any freedom of choice, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being less creative than those who were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the immunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.

To conclude
, our society needs more creative and selfless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
that is
why we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "certain freedom".
a certain freedom
to our child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there should be a boundary of this liberty.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts