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Many believe that advertising can have negative effects on customers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many believe that advertising can have negative effects on customers. v. 1
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? Many people would never have the opportunity to visit some museums because of the expensive fee they charge. On the contrary, some institutions offer free entrance. This essay will address, not only the advantages, but also some disadvantages that should be understood. Primarily, the maintenance of galleries and the quality of the pieces shown in it depend on the fee clients pay. One the one hand, cleaning, fixing and painting of the building is done with the money earned on tickets. For instance, the more the person pay, the more it expects from the service offered. On the other hand, the variety of what it is shown in the museum and its authenticity is assured by fees charged to people to attend this cultural place. Consequently, although many museums offer services for free, without money it is very difficult and almost impossible to offer quality pieces of art, historical discoveries or clean facilities. On the contrary, there are some drawbacks of charging people for admission to museums. Firstly, many people would not be able to afford tickets. In consequence, the amount of public accessing arts, history or science museums will be reduced. For example, the Louvre museum in Paris is so expensive, that only receives 10 visitors a day, whereas free museums such as Momma in New York City has more than 1000 visits a day. Secondly, local clients would not have the opportunity to repeat the experience. Moreover, students of many public schools would not take their students when a fee is charged. In contrast, if the tickets were inexpensive or free many institutions would include visiting museums as an obligatory subject. As, for instance, Architecture students in Florence, they are offered free tickets to the Arts museum. Therefore, they can come and go as many times as they want to or need to in order to reinforce their study. In summary, charging people definitely affects negatively the amount of people museums receive and the quantity of times they have repeated the experience. In conclusion, in spite paid museum fees have some advantages over free ones. In my opinion the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. In fact, all museums should be free so the entire world has access to art, history and science with unlimited passes to come and go as wanted.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
charge for admission while others are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
. Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
outweigh the disadvantages?

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would never have the opportunity to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
they charge.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
institutions offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
entrance. This essay will address, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages that should
be understood
.

Primarily
, the maintenance of galleries and the quality of the pieces shown in it depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
clients pay.
Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, cleaning, fixing and painting of the building
is done
with the money earned on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
.
For instance
, the more the person pay, the more it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
from the service offered.
On the other hand
, the variety of what it
is shown
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and its authenticity
is assured
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
charged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attend this cultural place.
Consequently
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
offer services for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, without money it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult and almost impossible to offer quality pieces of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, historical discoveries or clean facilities.

On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not be able to afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
. In consequence, the amount of public accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, history or science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
For example
, the Louvre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in Paris is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
receives 10 visitors a day, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
such as
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
Momma
in New York City has more than 1000 visits a day.
Secondly
, local clients would not have the opportunity to repeat the experience.
Moreover
, students of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
public schools would not take their students when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is charged
.
In contrast
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
were inexpensive or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
institutions would include visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
as an obligatory subject. As,
for instance
, Architecture students in Florence, they
are offered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
Therefore
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and go as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times as they want to or need to in order to reinforce their study. In summary, charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
definitely affects
negatively
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
receive and the quantity of times they have repeated the experience.

In conclusion
, in spite paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
ones.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my opinion the disadvantages outweigh the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
fact, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the entire world has access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, history and science with unlimited passes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and go as wanted.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Many believe that advertising can have negative effects on customers. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
406 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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