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TPO 51Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO 51 Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Some would argue that all college students can choose their subjects to study, while other people think that students should only be permitted to take subjects that are important in the future, such as science and technology. While science and technology are essential subjects, I believe other college subjects such as humanities and arts are necessary because they are part of college study. On the one hand, some people think that students should only be allowed to learn useful subjects in the future, such as science and technology. By taking up those subjects, students will learn in the major field of education, such as engineering and allied medical sciences. And later in life, they will become engineers and nurses. For example, the Ministry of Education in the Philippines reported, 80% of 2019 college graduates are courses in engineering and nursing. However, I believe, that other college studies such as the humanities and arts are such important as science and technology. On the other hand, other people think that students should be allowed to select subjects of what they want. By taking up the subjects of their choice, such as arts and humanities, will motivate them to focus on their studies because they are compassionate about what they are learning. It will lead them to be successful students in the field of education they are studying. For instance, students who are passionate about studying singing and dancing will be a successful singer or an excellent dance performer later in life. Therefore, I believe that other university subjects should have the same level of importance in college education. In conclusion, although, science and technology are key subjects to achieve a successful career, however arts and humanities are essential components in studies to be a better singer or a dancer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that all college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be permitted
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the future, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as humanities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are part of college study.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to learn useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the future, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. By taking up those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will learn in the major field of education, such as engineering and allied medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
. And later in life, they will become engineers and nurses.
For example
, the Ministry of Education in the Philippines reported, 80% of 2019 college graduates are courses in engineering and nursing.
However
, I believe, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
such as the humanities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of what they want. By taking up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of their choice, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and humanities, will motivate them to focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are compassionate about what they are learning. It will lead them to be successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the field of education they are studying.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are passionate about studying singing and dancing will be a successful singer or an excellent dance performer later in life.
Therefore
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should have the same level of importance in college education.

In conclusion
, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to achieve a successful career,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and humanities are essential components in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
to be a better singer or a dancer.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 51 Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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