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In many parts of the world and throughout history, government have moved their capitals. Discuss the potential problems and benefits? Say whether you would be in favor of moving your capital? v.1

In many parts of the world and throughout history, government have moved their capitals. Discuss the potential problems and benefits? Say whether you would be in favor of moving your capital? v. 1
Histories are certainly a crucial part of a human being's life. Moreover, a person cannot last long without cherishing its history and keep them in touch with their roots. It is often argued that it is essential for school going kids to know about the events that have been happening in the past in the country they have born and raised. According to my perspective, I completely disagree with the context, and this essay will explain the points to justify my statement. Firstly, if the teachers teach the pupils about the global history in schools, they will better understand the world that, how some of the essential things like trades, travelling used be done in the past and how humans do those things nowadays. For instance, these historical lessons will teach them, how the trades used to be happening in the ancient times, when there were no means of transportation like trains or cargo planes. Under those circumstances, it will be beneficial for students to learn about the different cultures around the globe, which will prepare them to live in the world with different people belong to different communities. Another thing to consider, that, why is the knowledge of earth's history is significant to learn is to come across some certain events that happened in ancient times. Usually, this has taught humans that how it left the human kind with some of the important lessons like war is not the solution to any problem and left countries with great debts. For example, the First World War or the Great War happened in 1914 and lasted till 1918. Thus, pupils will get to know that why the great war originated in Europe and, how over the period other countries like Africa, the Middle Eastern countries, China joined the Great war. To conclude, both the world and local histories have significant importance in their own ways. Not only, local olden days taught us a lot of essential life lessons, which guide the humans to figure out who they actually are, but also, provide them with the valuable information about their ancestors. Notwithstanding, global historical events taught us how traders start the trades, and civilizations evolved over the period.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Histories
are
certainly
a crucial part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being's life.
Moreover
, a person cannot last long without cherishing its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them in touch with their roots. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that it is essential for school going kids to know about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that have been happening in the past in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they have born and raised. According to my perspective, I completely disagree with the context, and this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the points to justify my statement.

Firstly
, if the teachers teach the pupils about the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in schools, they will better understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that, how
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
essential things like trades, travelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
be done
in the past and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
do those things nowadays.
For instance
, these historical lessons will teach them, how the trades
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be happening in the ancient times, when there were no means of transportation like trains or cargo
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
. Under those circumstances, it will be beneficial for students to learn about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures around the globe, which will prepare them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
belong to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
communities.

Another thing to consider, that, why is the knowledge of earth's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is significant to learn is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that happened in ancient times.
Usually
, this has taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
that how it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
kind with
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lessons like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
is not the solution to any problem and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
debts.
For example
, the
First
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
War
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
War
happened in 1914 and lasted till 1918.
Thus
, pupils will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know that why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
originated in Europe and, how over the period other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Africa, the Middle Eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Great
war.

To conclude
, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
histories
have significant importance in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, local olden days taught us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
essential life lessons, which guide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to figure out
In a formal text, use "whom", not 'who'.
who
they actually are,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, provide them with the valuable information about their ancestors. Notwithstanding, global historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
taught us how traders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the trades, and civilizations evolved over the period.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many parts of the world and throughout history, government have moved their capitals. Discuss the potential problems and benefits? Say whether you would be in favor of moving your capital? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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