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Do agree or disagree the extended family(grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past. v.2

Do agree or disagree the extended family(grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past. v. 2
Historic structures reflect the brilliant work done by our ancestral generations. It's an evidence of their existence and immense human architectural capacity. In the recent times, there have been debates around this where some people mention that the Government should collapse all the ancestral buildings and replace them with a modern city plan. This essay will discuss why the classic creations should be kept intact with the other modern buildings around the city and native towns. Though the beauty of the old creations is pleasing to the eye, some experts believe that getting these mansions down would help the city immensely. This is because, it disturbs the modern plan crafted for the towns. For example, if Delhi's historic places were rebuilt with a new city plan that would reduce the horrendous traffic in the place. Also, as there is a cost involved in the maintenance of these wonder towers, it is best to bulldoze these away. The maintenance of these wonders of the country would cost a bomb to maintain them with staff salaries, human personnel management, cleaning, etc. Though some people agree that keeping these structures would be helpful, the advantages of reserving these outweigh the argument. Age old buildings bring great richness to the places it was built. Many individuals protest against bringing such heritage down. Reason being that they add to the beauty of the city. I. e. There are many tourists seem to only be mesmerized by the world heritages built across the city. One such example is about people coming all over from different places of India to see the tall buildings of Mumbai’s Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus Railway station, which is a UNESCO World Heritage site as compared to viewing the landscape of modern art that isn’t very appealing to everybody. Also, the brilliance in adoring our forefather’s creative skills is satisfying for the public to experience for generations ahead. Another example is that of the southern state temples in India, where each carving defines the artistic abilities of our creators. This is unbeatable in comparison to constructing contemporary buildings. As these monuments won’t be recreated again in the history of mankind, it is prudent to preserve them. To conclude, ancient infrastructure should be protected and maintained for the betterment of the future generations to learn and appreciate the elements of the glory that our ancestors left behind as a gift for us. This makes it clear that I strongly disagree to let government crash all the historic buildings to revamp it by constructing new generation towers.
Historic structures reflect the brilliant work done by our ancestral generations. It's an evidence of their existence and immense human architectural capacity. In the recent times, there have been debates around this where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
mention that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should collapse all the ancestral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and replace them with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
city plan. This essay will discuss why the classic creations should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
intact with the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
around the city and native towns.

Though the beauty of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
creations
The verb 'pleasing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is pleasing
to the eye,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts believe that getting these mansions down would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the city
immensely
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it disturbs the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
plan crafted for the towns.
For example
, if Delhi's historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
were rebuilt with a new city plan that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the horrendous traffic in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Also
, as there is a cost involved in the maintenance of these wonder towers, it is best to bulldoze these away. The maintenance of these wonders of the country would cost a bomb to maintain them with staff salaries, human personnel management, cleaning, etc. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that keeping these structures would be helpful, the advantages of reserving these outweigh the argument.

Age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
bring great richness to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
it
was built
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals protest against bringing such heritage down. Reason being that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the beauty of the city.
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
I. e.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists seem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be mesmerized
by the world heritages built across the city. One such example is about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
coming all over from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of India to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the tall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
of Mumbai’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chhatrapati
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shivaji
Terminus Railway station, which is a
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
UNESCO World Heritage site
as compared to viewing the landscape of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
art that isn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
appealing to everybody.
Also
, the brilliance in adoring our forefather’s creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is satisfying for the public to experience for generations ahead. Another example is that of the southern state temples in India, where each carving defines the artistic abilities of our creators. This is unbeatable
in comparison
to constructing contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. As these monuments won’t
be recreated
again in the history of mankind, it is prudent to preserve them.

To conclude
, ancient infrastructure should
be protected
and maintained for the betterment of the future generations to learn and appreciate the elements of the glory that our ancestors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind as a gift for us. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that I
strongly
disagree to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
crash all the historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
to revamp it by constructing new generation towers.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Do agree or disagree the extended family(grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
422 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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