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TPO 50: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study is. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.3

TPO 50: All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study is. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 3
Nowadays in universities, a wide range of different courses are offered. Some of them are specific courses related to mathematics, biology, chemistry, and etc. The other courses fill into different categories that are considered as general courses like history. Regarding this issue, there is heated debate between the universities' authorities about making a general course like history, obligatory for all students regardless of their major. From my own perspective, It would not be a good idea due to some reasons. In the following paragraphs, I will cogently elaborate on my viewpoint. One of the most prominent points to be mentioned is that a majority of students are not interested in taking historical courses and this issue would be problematic. Most of the students are not passionate about learning history, hence these classes would be boring and tedious for them and when they attend the class they do not concentrate on materials. My personal experience is compelling evidence for my claim. When I was an undergraduate student, we were required to take the Islam History course. A great percentage of students were not avid about learning the history of Islam. Therefore during the class, they do not pay attention to the instructor, most of the time they disturbed the discipline of the class, and also did not attend the class regularly. These behaviors were really offensive and bothered the professor. Hence, I do believe that it is more advantageous that history classes be arbitrary. Another equally important point coming to my mind is that most of the time discussions in the history classes are controversial and both sides of the argument try to persuade the counter sides and eventually they would not convince each other. Again, I refer to my Islam History course. Most of my classmates did not have any religious beliefs or their beliefs were contrary to what was discussed in the class. Therefore, they passed tough moments in the class and it was not favorable for them to study what they do not believe in it. Sometimes they would initiate arguments that did not have any result and in fact, it was just a sheer waste of time of the class. Therefore, I think that it is not a good idea to require all the students to pass a specific history course. For short, due to the aforementioned reasons, it makes sense to draw the conclusion that history courses should be optional therefore students who are genuinely interested in history would take the course and take advantage of it. Otherwise, this course would not be profitable due to less enthusiasm for students about the course and controversial arguments during the class.
Nowadays in universities, a wide range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are offered
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them are specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
related to mathematics, biology, chemistry,
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. The other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
fill into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories that
are considered
as general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. Regarding this issue, there
is heated
debate between the
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universities&
#039; authorities about making a general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, obligatory for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
regardless of their major. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, It would not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. In the following paragraphs, I will
cogently
elaborate on my viewpoint.

One of the most prominent points to
be mentioned
is that a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not interested in taking historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and this issue would be problematic. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not passionate about learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
hence
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
would be boring and tedious for them and when they attend the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
they do not concentrate on materials. My personal experience is compelling evidence for my claim. When I was an undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, we
were required
to take the Islam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. A great percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were not avid about learning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of Islam.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, they do not pay attention to the instructor, most of the time they disturbed the discipline of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, and
also
did not attend the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
regularly
. These behaviors were
really
offensive and bothered the professor.
Hence
, I do believe that it is more advantageous that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
be arbitrary.

Another
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point coming to my mind is that most of the time discussions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are controversial and both sides of the argument try to persuade the counter sides and
eventually
they would not convince each other. Again, I refer to my Islam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. Most of my classmates did not have any religious beliefs or their beliefs were contrary to what
was discussed
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, they passed tough moments in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and it was not favorable for them to study what they do not believe in it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they would initiate arguments that did not have any result and in fact, it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a sheer waste of time of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to require all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to pass a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
course.

For short, due to the aforementioned reasons, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense to draw the conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
should be optional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are
genuinely
interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
would take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and take advantage of it.
Otherwise
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
would not be profitable due to less enthusiasm for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and controversial arguments during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 50: All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study is. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
443 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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