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TPO 50 - Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study is. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO 50 - All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study is. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Since the beginning of the 21st century, many developing nations have shown a steeply upward trend in the youth population. However, the number of aged people is less in these countries in comparison with the number of young people. This essay is an attempt to evaluate, whether the merits outweigh the demerits or not. On the one hand, undoubtedly, the youth is the true asset of any country. Utilizing the youth power effectively, can lead a nation to the success path. As youngsters are full of enthusiasm and energy, they can work for a longer hours, which can indeed increase the country's economy. Thus, the higher the youth power any country has, the more wealthy the country is. Further, in this fast paced world, everybody needs to be ready to learn the latest technology to succeed in the life and young people are believed as the fastest learners. For example, a survey conducted by the Oxford university, has revealed that the most of the developed countries have a number of adults than senior citizens. On the other hand, the experience gained by senior people over the years can not be over-looked. Young people can learn from senior's experience by not repeating the mistakes which were done by elders in the past. Moreover, sometimes people of lower age, need someone to motivate and to inspire themselves. At this time, they need seniors. For instance, a well know company, Infosys has accepted in an interview that they have thirty percent of older people in every team and the chairman of the company considered it as the main reason of their success. To conclude, despite the fact that older people have their own place in the society and the corporate world, the youth is the future of any nation. Thus, by looking both sides, it can be concluded that the advantages outweigh drawbacks.
Since the beginning of the 21st century,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing nations have shown a
steeply
upward trend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
population.
However
, the number of aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is less in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in comparison
with the number of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay is an attempt to evaluate, whether the merits outweigh the demerits or not.

On the one hand,
undoubtedly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
is the true asset of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Utilizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
power
effectively
, can lead a nation to the success path. As youngsters are full of enthusiasm and energy, they can work for a longer hours, which can
indeed
increase the country's economy.
Thus
, the higher the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
power any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has, the more wealthy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is.
Further
, in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world, everybody needs to be ready to learn the latest technology to succeed in the life and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are believed
as the fastest learners.
For example
, a survey conducted by the Oxford university, has revealed that the most of the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a number of adults than senior citizens.

On the other hand
, the experience gained by senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over the years can not be over-looked. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn from senior's experience by not repeating the mistakes which
were done
by elders in the past.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of lower age, need someone to motivate and to inspire themselves. At this time, they need seniors.
For instance
, a
Did you mean "well-known"?
well know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infosys
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in an interview that they have thirty percent of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in every team and the chairman of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
considered it as the main reason of their success.

To conclude
, despite the fact that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place in the society and the corporate world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
is the future of any nation.
Thus
, by looking both sides, it can
be concluded
that the advantages outweigh drawbacks.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay TPO 50 - All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study is. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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