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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: “It is better to read books on an electronic device than it is to read traditional books on paper? ” v.2

: “It is better to read books on an electronic device than it is to read traditional books on paper? ” v. 2
Technology is growing faster than I expected, a few years ago there was no i-pad, tablet or electronic devices that designed especially for reading books but now there are hundreds of variety of devices invented to make our life easier than ever. These innovations eliminating the heavy weights, too small or too big text height et cetera. Therefore, in my opinion, I would choose electronic devices for reading books and paper because of its advantages. I have three reason why I agree with the statement that it is better to read books on an electronic device that it is to read traditional books on paper. First of all, most interesting books have pages about hundred to three hundreds and weighting about 300 grams. However, this is the weight of only one book, but if there are about two to three books total weight going to be 600-900 grams which is relatively heavier to carry around. Also, about the volume, these three books would not fit into small handbag so that the bag should be bigger to fit those. Hence, reading interesting books while traveling or working will take a lot of effort. In this situation, electronic book solved this situation by eliminating heavy weight and spacious volume. For this reason, I would prefer to have electronic books than traditional printed books. Secondly, sometimes when I go to the bookstore I struggled to fine nice books that have a optimum script size but in most occasion it is too big or too small to read. Like the electronic device solved books un-affordable size, it is also solving the issue of un-readable script. In electronic book, the script height, color or even background color can be customized. By doing this, even elders can read books without glasses. Last but not least, in my opinion, printed books require to use both hand and sometimes during night special light should be illuminated to read the text properly. However, in electronic device, there are no need of special light or extra hand support to turn the pages. For example, when I was reading fascinating novel with over 500 pages, there was no free hand my both hand was used to read that book, and of course at evening, I had to go the place with light but if I had electronic book, I would read the novel while I am in bus or in my bed. Henceforth, simplifying the everyday life, I would say that reading on electronic device is much better. In conclusion, comparing to the advantages of electronic book and printed book, I would hundred percent agree with the statement that it is better to read books on an electronic device that it is to read traditional books on paper.
Technology is growing faster than I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, a few years ago there was no i-pad, tablet or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
that designed
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there are hundreds of variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
invented to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life easier than ever. These innovations eliminating the heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weights
, too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
text height
Possible spelling mistake found.
et cetera
.
Therefore
, in my opinion, I would choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and paper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its advantages. I have three reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
that it is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on paper.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, most interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have pages about
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
to three hundreds and weighting about 300 grams.
However
, this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if there are about two to three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
going to be 600-900 grams which is
relatively
heavier to carry around.
Also
, about the volume, these three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
would not fit into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
handbag
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the bag should be bigger to fit those.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
while traveling or working will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort. In this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
solved this situation by eliminating heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and spacious volume.
For this reason
, I would prefer to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
than traditional printed books.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
when I go to the bookstore I struggled to fine nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
that have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
optimum script size
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in most occasion it is too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
or too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
. Like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
solved
Possible spelling mistake found.
books un-affordable
size, it is
also
solving the issue of
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-readable
script. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, the script height, color or even background color can
be customized
. By doing this, even elders can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
without glasses.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, in my opinion, printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
require to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
during night special light should
be illuminated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
the text
properly
.
However
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
, there are no need of special light or extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
support to turn the pages.
For example
, when I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
fascinating novel with over 500 pages, there was no free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
my both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, and
of course
at evening, I had to go the place with light
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if I had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
the novel while I am in bus or in my bed. Henceforth, simplifying the everyday life, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
is much better.

In conclusion
, comparing to the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
and printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, I would
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
that it is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on paper.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay : “It is better to read books on an electronic device than it is to read traditional books on paper? ” v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
457 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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