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TPO 47 - Question 4Explain how the examples in the lecture illustrate the concept of reactance. v.1

TPO 47 - Question 4Explain how the examples in the lecture illustrate the concept of reactance. v. 1
Art and human life are closely related from the past. Some people assume that spending more funds on the arts by the government is not a good idea and those funds can be used for any other purposes. Spending money on the arts not only encourage the talents of young people, but also helpful to bring more funds to the government. This essay agrees the fact that government should use some portion of their budget for promoting the arts. Allocating money for the arts is beneficial to encourage the abilities of talented people. To go into detail, there are thousands of students in developing countries who has talent in doing artworks like paintings and other sculptures. Even though they have high talent, they cannot achieve their dreams because of the lack of money. For instance, countries like USA and Canada have a large number of talented artists because they are spending large amounts of money as scholarships for talented students. This encourages students to do artworks from their young age itself and using money, they could study more professional courses regarding artworks and they can become a highly talented artist in the future. Conversely, some people think that using money on art is a waste, as they are not contributing anything for the economy of the nation. However, spending money on art can be still economically beneficial. To be precise, all famous artwork costs very high. Once a talented artist is established in a country, they could sell their artwork for a high price. By doing this, artists can bring funds to their home country. For example, the famous paintings of Da Vinchi are being sold for more that 10 million US dollars. As the talented artist brings money to the home nation, using funds in the arts is worthy. In conclusion, allocating more money to the arts not only establish talented artists in the region, but also helpful to bring more foreign money to the country as the their artworks are very costly. If government gives more scholarships to the talented young people they are more likely to become a skilled artist.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
and human life are
closely
related from the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
more funds on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and those funds can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for any other purposes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
encourage the talents of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
more funds to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of their budget for promoting the arts.

Allocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is beneficial to encourage the abilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To go into detail, there are thousands of students in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who has talent in doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
like paintings and other sculptures.
Even though
they have high talent, they cannot achieve their dreams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the USA".
like USA
and Canada have
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
large amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as scholarships for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
students. This encourages students to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
from their young age itself and using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they could study more professional courses regarding
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
artworks and
they can become a
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
in the future.

Conversely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a waste, as they are not contributing anything for the economy of the nation.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can be
still
economically
beneficial. To be precise, all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
costs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high. Once a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
is established
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they could sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
for a high price. By doing this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
funds to their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
paintings of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinchi
are
being sold
for more that 10 million US dollars. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the home nation, using funds in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is worthy.

In conclusion
, allocating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
establish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
in the region,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
more foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as the their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
gives more scholarships to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they are more likely to become a skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay TPO 47 - Question 4Explain how the examples in the lecture illustrate the concept of reactance. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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