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The professor used two examples to illustrate the importance of emotional development in children. Explain how the two examples are related to the lecture topic. v.1

The professor used two examples to illustrate the importance of emotional development in children. Explain how the two examples are related to the lecture topic. v. 1
Over the past few years, self-driving cars have been becoming quite common by dint of the emergence of artificial intelligence. It is due to the advent of futuristic technology, and it denotes a welcoming development as it immensely improves road safety. In contemporary society, modern technology has excelled in all fields, including the automobile industry. Scientists have designed computer systems that can control different functions of the cars. To be detailed, specific data installed in the car systems, which not only monitors its smooth drive, but also continually provides updates via the global positioning system for the chosen route. Besides, intelligence demonstrated by machines can think instead of a human and select an appropriate algorithm by analysing the best efficient solutions for driving purposes. Therefore, several car companies tend to avail of artificial intelligence. For instance, a famous car brand named Tesla has designed automated self-control vehicles that are becoming desirable for their precision, accuracy, and safety. Machine intelligence should be welcomed owing to the possibility of reducing the number of road traffic accidents. It is scientifically that most collisions are in light of human mistakes, but with the help of AI devices, people will probably eliminate the potential of involving in accidents. Which means incidents, such as drink driving, falling asleep at the wheel and speeding, become a thing of the past. Hence, drivers will not be nervous and feel a sense of protection. For example, most of the Tesla autonomous cars' drivers state that they feel comfortable and have never been in troubles related to car accidents. In conclusion, the emergence of computer-controlled transportation has been inevitably becoming the new standard in the car industry. Because the technologies are developing in the right way, I uphold the conviction that this trend is a positive impact as it would improve traffic safety standards.
Over the past few years, self-driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have been becoming quite common by dint of the emergence of artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
. It is due to the advent of futuristic technology, and it denotes a welcoming development as it
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
road safety.

In contemporary society, modern technology has excelled in all fields, including the automobile industry. Scientists have designed computer systems that can control
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
functions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. To
be detailed
, specific data installed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
systems, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
monitors its smooth drive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
continually
provides updates via the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
global positioning system
for the chosen route.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
demonstrated by machines can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
instead
of a human and select an appropriate algorithm by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the best efficient solutions for driving purposes.
Therefore
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tend to avail of artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
brand named Tesla has designed automated self-control vehicles that are becoming desirable for their precision, accuracy, and safety.

Machine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
should
be welcomed
owing to the possibility of reducing the number of road traffic accidents. It is
scientifically
that most collisions are in light of human mistakes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of AI devices,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
probably
eliminate the potential of involving in accidents. Which means incidents, such as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
drink driving
, falling asleep at the wheel and speeding, become a thing of the past.
Hence
, drivers will not be nervous and feel a sense of protection.
For example
, most of the Tesla autonomous cars' drivers state that they feel comfortable and have never been in troubles related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accidents.

In conclusion
, the emergence of computer-controlled transportation has been
inevitably
becoming the new standard in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
industry.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the technologies are developing in the right way, I uphold the conviction that this trend is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact as it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
traffic safety standards.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The professor used two examples to illustrate the importance of emotional development in children. Explain how the two examples are related to the lecture topic. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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