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TPO 47 - Question 1Which one of the following forms of transportation do you consider to be most enjoyable? bicycleautomobiletrainExplain why you enjoy it. v.1

TPO 47 - Question 1Which one of the following forms of transportation do you consider to be most enjoyable? bicycleautomobiletrainExplain why you enjoy it. v. 1
Recently, online shopping captured all the market, making people who are working in various sectors gets unemployed, this has been a prevailing concern in the significant part of the world. The introduction of online shopping affected the whole economy. This is mainly due to the numerous advantages that the online shopping offers. First and foremost, customer can make his or her purchase completely from home using only their computer or mobile phones. This will make the shopping more easier, because they do not need to go in person to purchase everything they want. Secondly, online shopping offers a wide variety of selections. In simple words, if we go to a textile shop, we did not like any of the collections they have, then we are forced to buy something that we do not like. However, in online shopping we can go through a variety of collections, styles, and trend. For example, about 80 percentage of people are giving an excellent feedback for the various options that the online market are offering nowadays. On the other hand, online market adversely affected the majority of people's jobs. Because of online shopping, more people are not going to any retail shops or textiles or shopping malls to buy their product. This affects really bad for the people who are working in this section as salesman owners etc. So online shopping affects the employment. For instance, a survey conducted by the government of India to identify the number of  people who are negatively affected by online shopping, where the result was so drastic, about 60 percentage of employees are adversely affected and gets unemployed. To recapitulate, online shopping has affected people's employment to a large extent, however, it also eases so many people's shopping problems too. Anyway the advantages of online marketing outnumber the disadvantages.
Recently,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
captured all the market, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are working in various sectors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
unemployed, this has been a prevailing concern in the significant part of the world.

The introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
the whole economy. This is
mainly
due to the numerous advantages that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
offers.
First
and foremost, customer can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
completely from home using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their computer or mobile phones. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not need to go in person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
everything they want.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
offers a wide variety of selections. In simple words, if we go to a textile shop, we did not like any of the collections they have, then we
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something that we do not like.
However
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
we can go through a variety of collections, styles, and trend.
For example
, about 80 percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are giving an excellent feedback for the various options that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
market are offering nowadays.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
market
adversely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's jobs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not going to any retail shops or textiles or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their product. This affects
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are working in this section as salesman owners etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
affects the employment.
For instance
, a survey conducted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of India to identify the number of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
negatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, where the result was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
drastic, about 60 percentage of employees are
adversely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
unemployed.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's employment to a large extent,
however
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
problems too. Anyway the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
marketing outnumber the disadvantages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay TPO 47 - Question 1Which one of the following forms of transportation do you consider to be most enjoyable? bicycleautomobiletrainExplain why you enjoy it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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