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662 some people say that food in an expensive restaurant is always better than food in a cheap restaurant would you agree? v.1

662 some people say that food in an expensive restaurant is always better than food in a cheap restaurant would you agree? v. 1
It is considered by some persons that educational establishment should ensure that children are tutored on handling bill. In my opinion, I strongly disagree that offsprings should be shown the way on how to control pay because, it might lead to failure in the institution and peer pressure. To start with, the first aspect parents must focus on is the educational pursuit of a youth. This involves ensuring an offspring excel in his or her studies by monitoring the curricular activities of the institute to know the impact on the kid. Teaching an adolescent on how to handle capital at a tender age is completely wrong because it will lead the progeny astray thereby instilling wrong impact on them. To illustrate, I was opportune to conduct a seminar on moral behaviours in the academy, I realised that 50% of the questionnaires distributed portends that the students were already exposed to the love of wealth. This as a result will influence innocent children in the academy. Another point to itemise is that, it allows young boys and girls to yield to bad associations among their peers. This implies that, such a juvenile will begin to look for a means of making fund to meet up with the fashion in vogue. For instance, my 10year older niece who recently visited us during third term holiday was fascinated with some things I got for my children which her parents might not be able to afford. The adverse effect of this is that, the unnecessary demand will be too much on the parents. To conclude, the aftermath effect of children being exposed to cash might be detrimental to their studies and could cause a precarious effect on the other children.
It
is considered
by
some
persons that educational establishment should ensure that
children
are tutored
on handling bill. In my opinion, I
strongly
disagree that
offsprings
should
be shown
the way on how to control pay
because
, it might lead to failure in the institution and peer pressure.

To
start
with, the
first
aspect parents
must
focus on is the educational pursuit of a youth. This involves ensuring an offspring excel in
his or her
studies by monitoring the curricular activities of the institute to know the impact on the kid. Teaching an adolescent on how to handle capital at a tender age is completely
wrong
because
it will lead the progeny astray thereby instilling
wrong
impact on them. To illustrate, I was opportune to conduct a seminar on moral
behaviours
in the academy, I
realised
that 50% of the questionnaires distributed portends that the students were already exposed to the
love
of wealth. This
as a result
will influence innocent
children
in the academy.

Another point to
itemise
is that, it
allows
young boys and girls to yield to
bad
associations among their peers.
This implies that
, such a juvenile will
begin
to look for a means of making fund to
meet
up with the fashion in vogue.
For instance
, my 10year older niece who recently visited us during third term holiday
was fascinated
with
some
things I
got
for my
children
which her parents might not be able to afford. The adverse effect of this is that, the unnecessary demand will be too much on the parents.

To conclude
, the aftermath effect of
children
being exposed
to cash might be detrimental to their studies and could cause a precarious effect on the other
children
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 662 some people say that food in an expensive restaurant is always better than food in a cheap restaurant would you agree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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