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TPO-47 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. v.2

TPO-47 - Independent Writing Task It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. v. 2
Without a shadow of the doubt, knowing about different events and news all over the world can affect our lives in different aspects. We live in a world so, we cannot be nonchalant about that. Many people comtend that it is important to know about events happening around the world, while others assert it is not. Both of the opposing arguments appear to be somewhat convincing and stand to point. However, my personal experience and acctual observation of life have led me to agree that being aware of events around the world is a very important matter. In the ensuing lines, I delve into my reasons to substantiate my point. The first and possibly the paramount reason is that by knowing about different events and especially the important of them we can increase our knowledge about them. The more we learn, the more we inderstand. Also, if there is catastrophic situation in the world that can envolved us we can prepare ourselves to face with te situation. Nowadays, people all over the world are struggle with the decrease in water resources. So, by knowing this issue we can manage our water rsourses which are very important in having convenient life. Consequently, by managing the situation we can have the opportunity to solve the problem. In this situation, by using the ability of scientists and their idea fabricating new devices to refine the contaminated water will be practical. Another ponit springing to mind is that knowing about events in the world can broaden our horizon. If there is a harmful flood or earthquake in part of the world, we can help the people. As a result, by doing good deeds we can improve ourselves. The more we improve, the greater our chance to inspire others. In addition, we are responsible about all the people in all over the world. It is our humanity task to help other people. For example, last year a deadly earthquke occured in China. We watched the scenes from the television and distructions was too much. My people in my country, Italy sens a lot of food and other essential object there. So, knowing about events is important. Although the mentioned reasons are the first ones as advatages of knowing about events, there is an advantage about not knowing about events, too. In this situation, there is no need to be concern and we juat live in a calm atmosphere. Sometimes nowing too much disturbs pople and makes them nervous. However, I really think that people must be aware about other people situation. So, I think we can neglected this benefit compared to benefits of knowing about events. To sum it all up, it is easy to see the advantages of being aware about events in all over the world. We can increase our knowledge, we can be prepare for different situations and also we can improve our good characteristics by having empathy with other people. I hope someday all the people live together in the world without any bad events.
Without a shadow of the doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and news all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
can affect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
aspects. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, we cannot be nonchalant about that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
comtend
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
happening around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, while others assert it is not. Both of the opposing arguments appear to be somewhat convincing and stand to point.
However
, my personal experience and
Possible spelling mistake found.
acctual
observation of life have led me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that being aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
matter. In the ensuing lines, I delve into my reasons to substantiate my point.

The
first
and
possibly
the paramount reason is that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
of them we can increase our knowledge about them. The more we learn, the more we
Possible spelling mistake found.
inderstand
.
Also
, if there is catastrophic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that can
Possible spelling mistake found.
envolved
us we can prepare ourselves to face with
Possible spelling mistake found.
te
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are struggle with the decrease in water resources.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
this issue we can manage our water
Possible spelling mistake found.
rsourses
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in having convenient life.
Consequently
, by managing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
we can have the opportunity to solve the problem. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, by using the ability of scientists and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
fabricating new devices to refine the contaminated water will be practical.

Another
Possible spelling mistake found.
ponit
springing to mind is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
can broaden our horizon. If there is a harmful flood or earthquake in part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, by doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deeds we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
ourselves. The more we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, the greater our chance to inspire others.
In addition
, we are responsible about all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. It is our humanity task to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, last year a deadly
Possible spelling mistake found.
earthquke
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
in China. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
the scenes from the television and
Possible spelling mistake found.
distructions
was too much. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in my country, Italy sens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
food and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
essential object there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Although the mentioned reasons are the
first
ones as
Possible spelling mistake found.
advatages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, there is an advantage about not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, too. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, there is no need to be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
concern and
we
Possible spelling mistake found.
juat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a calm atmosphere.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sometimes nowing
too much disturbs
Possible spelling mistake found.
pople
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them nervous.
However
, I
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be aware about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "neglect"
neglected
this benefit compared to benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

To sum it all up, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the advantages of being aware about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. We can increase our knowledge, we can be
Consider using the past participle "prepared"?
prepare
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
and
also
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
characteristics by having empathy with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I hope someday all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
66Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-47 - Independent Writing Task It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
504 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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