Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Thanks to the increase of technology, people today have greater amounts of free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the conveniences created by modern technology? v.2

Thanks to the increase of technology, people today have greater amounts of free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the conveniences created by modern technology? v. 2
Due to advances in technology the lifestyle of an ordinary man has become less arduous, leading to have more free time than ever. Industry now has less strenuous work to do; much of the work that is to do with even mere studying is available on the device with internet connection; and mere phone has even more abilities that a computer may have. However, as far as the argument goes, this trend has its own privileges to enjoy, as well as negative impact on the behaviour of a person. Advantages, namely computerized process, created robots that do ten hours of work in a mere hour, along with absence of tiredness and such. Benefit that a person can have now is to spend some more valuable time with his family, which was previously troublesome to do. For example, working in a factory a person does controlling and overseeing the process with commands only, having come home he has more energy to put into his family, which however was hardly a case previously. Another obvious benefit can be related to studying process. Today, going to libraries and looking for certain topic has become much more easier than ever, since it only takes a couple of lines on a searching software, or Google. In the past, for instance, it could take hours if not a day. On the other hand, such trend seemingly is backfiring in terms of activity level of a person in everyday situation. Studies prove that sedentary lifestyle is contributing to illnesses such as cardiovascular diseases, migraines, anxiety and depression. In fact, there is a sitting disease which is responsible for health risks. Another interesting facts is that, now a regular person spends 2 more hours in front of a TV than they did in the past. To conclude, the comforts of increase in technology are tremendous, benefiting from a little more time with a family, of course if drawbacks are not considered. I believe that technology has more benefits rather not, as long as lifestyles of people are encouraged to be more active.
Due to advances in technology the lifestyle of an ordinary
man
has become less arduous, leading to have more free time than ever. Industry
now
has less strenuous work to do; much of the work
that is
to do with even mere studying is available on the device with internet connection; and mere phone has even more abilities that a computer may have.
However
, as far as the argument goes, this trend has its
own
privileges to enjoy,
as well
as
negative
impact on the
behaviour
of a person.

Advantages,
namely
computerized process, created robots that do ten
hours
of work in a mere
hour
, along with absence of tiredness and such. Benefit that a
person
can have
now
is to spend
some
more valuable time with his family, which was previously troublesome to do.
For example
, working in a factory a
person
does controlling
and overseeing the process with commands
only
, having
come
home he has more energy to put into his family, which
however
was hardly a case previously. Another obvious benefit can
be related
to studying process.
Today
, going to libraries and looking for certain topic has become much
more easier
than ever, since it
only
takes a couple of lines on a searching software, or Google. In the past,
for instance
, it could take
hours
if not a day.

On the other hand
, such trend
seemingly
is backfiring in terms of activity level of a
person
in everyday situation. Studies prove that sedentary lifestyle is contributing to illnesses such as cardiovascular diseases, migraines, anxiety and depression. In fact, there is a sitting disease which is responsible for health
risks
. Another interesting facts is that,
now
a regular
person
spends 2 more
hours
in front of a TV than they did in the past.

To conclude
, the comforts of increase in technology are tremendous, benefiting from a
little
more time with a family,
of course
if drawbacks are not considered. I believe that technology has more benefits
rather
not, as long as lifestyles of
people
are encouraged
to be more active.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Thanks to the increase of technology, people today have greater amounts of free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the conveniences created by modern technology? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts