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TPO 46- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answe v.4

TPO 46- The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answe v. 4
The world is changing rapidly and people experience a huge improvement and development in several fields of science and engineering. In fact, they adjust themselves with these changes to live comfortably. When it comes to the impact of the opinions of celebrities on people, controversy surrounds the issue of whether it is more important to younger people than to older people? I am of the opinion that youths today do not find the attitudes of the celebrities important for their life and they follow different things like technology and new changes in the world instead. The following explanation will further elaborate on this perspective. One of the significant aspects of the ongoing discussion which demands a keen contemplation is that young people have other priorities to do in their life. They have to attend several classes and also study hard for their class assignments so that they can broaden their knowledge to understand the world better. Thus, they have no time to keep up with other people' s life or opinions. Take my personal experience for example. When I was in the high school, I rarely find enough time to watch TV or read newspaper to get the news even some time I had no time to talk to my parents just because of too many tasks teachers gave me to do. Another noteworthy aspect of the topic which needs to be reflected is that modern technology changes the attitudes of the youngsters toward the life. As a matter of fact, they have more tendencies to keep the pace with the modern inventions rather than other matters. Furthermore, young people have a great chance to know all information related to renowned people by using the internet and this unfolds many things, especially, other people' s attitudes about them, so they recognize that there are many negative points in their lives and they should not follow these people. Paradoxically, age factor can be considered as the main reason that youths somehow are affected by the celebrity’s opinions. In essence, they always think that celebrities are the ones who determine the fashion of the society, and they find their life more interesting because most of the celebrities are in their ages. In this regard, they imitate their styles of clothing or other things to keep up with the fashion. On the basis of the points mentioned above, I think that there are many convincing reasons for the fact that young people today do not follow celebrities opinions because they cannot find enough time to deal with other things and also they have more inclination to be informed with the technology changes and the new discoveries rather than other people' s attitudes.
The world is changing
rapidly
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experience a huge improvement and development in several fields of science and engineering. In fact, they adjust themselves with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
comfortably
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the impact of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, controversy surrounds the issue of whether it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than to older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
? I am of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
that youths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitudes
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things like technology and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the world
instead
. The following explanation will
further
elaborate on this perspective.

One of the significant aspects of the ongoing discussion which demands a keen contemplation is that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
priorities to do in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend several classes and
also
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
assignments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can broaden their knowledge to understand the world better.
Thus
, they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
. Take my personal experience
for example
. When I was in the high school, I rarely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV or read newspaper to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the news even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I had no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to talk to my parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks teachers gave me to do.

Another noteworthy aspect of the topic which needs to
be reflected
is that modern technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitudes
of the youngsters toward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As a matter of fact, they have more tendencies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the pace with the modern inventions
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
matters.
Furthermore
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a great chance to know all information related to renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by using the internet and this unfolds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things,
especially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitudes
about them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they recognize that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
they should not follow these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Paradoxically
, age factor can
be considered
as the main reason that youths somehow are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
. In essence, they always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are the ones who determine the fashion of the society, and they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are in their ages. In this regard, they imitate their styles of clothing or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the fashion.

On the basis of the points mentioned above, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
convincing reasons for the fact that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
do not follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things and
also
they have more inclination to
be informed
with the technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
and the new discoveries
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitudes
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 46- The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answe v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
449 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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