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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Getting advice from friends of an older age would be more valuable than from friends your own age v.2

Getting advice from friends of an older age would be more valuable than from friends your own age v. 2
Everyone needs advice at times, and most people ask their peers for help. However, with age comes a greater variety of life experiences, which give one the wisdom and ability to see things in perspective. Therefore, it is far better to receive advice from friends who are older than you than from peers. First, older friends have more real-world experience, so their advice has greater value. They can indeed give important advice on situations you have not experienced. For example, when deciding what college to attend, my older brother asked his friend in college where he should study. His friend said he should think about the financial aspects, so he suggested finding an inexpensive college where my brother could also get a scholarship. Thanks to his older friend' s advice, my brother could be saved from having a heavy student debt in the future. Older people have made mistakes, so they can help their younger friends avoid the same ones. It is often best to ask older friends for their opinion before making a big decision. One time, when I had a choice between playing baseball for the summer and going to a camp for three weeks, I asked my older friend for help. He said they play baseball at summer camp and I would be sad if I did not go there. Once in the past, he had decided not to go to camp and had joined a soccer club instead. All of his friends had a great time at camp while he was miserable playing soccer without them. His mistake helped me avoid making one myself. Older friends have more experience dealing with relationships, so they know how to deal with others very well. You can always expect an older person to have a past experience similar to a situation you are experiencing. My girlfriend was mad at me a while ago, but I was too afraid to ask her why. My older friend said that I should ask her directly and that she would tell me if she really liked me. Everything worked out fine thanks to my friend' s advice. Older people definitely know more about relationships than younger people do.
Everyone needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
at times, and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ask
their peers for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
However
, with age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
a greater variety of life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
, which give one the wisdom and ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
things in perspective.
Therefore
, it is far better to receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
than you than from peers.

First
,
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older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have more real-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
has greater value. They can
indeed
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
on situations you have not experienced.
For example
, when deciding what college to attend, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
brother asked his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in college where he should study. His
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
said he should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the financial aspects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he suggested finding an inexpensive college where my brother could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a scholarship. Thanks to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
Possible spelling mistake found.
friend&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
, my brother could
be saved
from having a heavy student debt in the future.

Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have made mistakes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
avoid the same ones. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
best to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
for their opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
decision. One time, when I had a choice between playing baseball for the summer and going to a camp for three weeks, I asked my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. He said they play baseball at summer camp and I would be sad if I did not go there. Once in the past, he had decided not to go to camp and had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
a soccer club
instead
. All of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
had a great time at camp while he was miserable playing soccer without them. His mistake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me avoid making one myself.

Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
dealing with relationships,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they know how to deal with others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. You can always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
person to have a past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
similar to a situation you are experiencing. My girlfriend was mad at me a while ago,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was too afraid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ask
her why. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
said that I should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ask
her
directly
and that she would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me if she
really
liked me. Everything worked out fine thanks to my
Possible spelling mistake found.
friend&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
definitely know more about relationships than younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Getting advice from friends of an older age would be more valuable than from friends your own age v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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