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TPO 46- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answe v.2

TPO 46- The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answe v. 2
Despite educating the past, there are those who say that it is not valuable for citizens far comprehension of occupy the modern world. It is partially agreed that studying the history, past can advantageous to us. This essay will discuss both views and support why learning the historical event should relate to in the our present time. Nowadays, most people are only able to learn about fundamental throughout the history since there is no way that they could turn back time to observe that specific event. It properly contains the cultural traditions which notice people about their roots. Because of oversea tradition, it frequently impacts on our actions and visions. A good example for this is dressing clothes, people should regard to the ownership symbolics. This action displays the country’s image that can attract the foreigners for visiting and becoming tourist attractions. On the other hand, there are some arguments why receiving historical data have without value for modernised people to live. Some opponents argue that history makes people more backwardness. Learning the new things possibly take various benefits, particularly IT. If the public administration addicted to the past, the public transportations, such as subway, and Skytrain seem to be underdeveloped for passengers to use obviously. In conclusion, studying the past should not be the main reason for people to live in the present era because in this case people would not motivate to think about the modernist era, although it also has taken skip the own cultures and ancestors. As a suggestion, the government should launch a campaign to educate school concerning take schedule for both subjects because both things are equally important.
Despite educating the
past
, there are those who say that it is not valuable for citizens far comprehension of occupy the modern world. It is
partially
agreed
that studying the history,
past
can advantageous to us. This essay will discuss both views and support why learning the historical
event
should relate to in
the our present
time.

Nowadays, most
people
are
only
able to learn about fundamental throughout the history since there is no way that they could turn back time to observe that specific
event
. It
properly
contains the cultural traditions which notice
people
about their roots.
Because
of oversea tradition, it
frequently
impacts on our actions and visions. A
good
example for this is dressing clothes,
people
should regard to the ownership
symbolics
. This action displays the country’s image that can attract the foreigners for visiting and becoming tourist attractions.

On the other hand
, there are
some
arguments why receiving historical data have without value for
modernised
people
to
live
.
Some
opponents argue that history
makes
people
more backwardness. Learning the new things
possibly
take various benefits,
particularly
IT. If the public administration addicted to the
past
, the public transportations, such as subway, and
Skytrain
seem to
be underdeveloped
for passengers to
use
obviously
.

In conclusion
, studying the
past
should not be the main reason for
people
to
live
in the present era
because
in this case
people
would not motivate to
think
about the modernist era, although it
also
has taken skip the
own
cultures and ancestors. As a suggestion, the
government
should launch a campaign to educate school concerning take schedule for both subjects
because
both things are
equally
important
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 46- The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answe v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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