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school work and get a decent night's sleep if you happen to be living in the family home. I can recall a friend from my university days who lived in a share house with other students. Life was a party for him but he didn't eat or study well and v.2

school work and get a decent night's sleep if you happen to be living in the family home. I can recall a friend from my university days who lived in a share house with other students. Life was a party for him but he didn't eat or study well and v. 2
Becoming an adult is a really special time in anybody' s life and the call to head out into the world and embrace our independence is, for many people, quite powerful. I1 think this can depend on a lot of different factors; for example, somebody starting a job might have different needs and priorities compared to a person who intends to go on and study at university. Generally speaking, I believe that it is better for all concerned if young adults continue to live with their families for a longer time, particularly if they are going to be studying at university or something similar. First of all, it' s important to consider finances. Certainly, it is possible for some young adults to get work and support themselves relatively quickly. However, in most parts of the world these days it costs a lot to rent a house, attend university, buy a car or purchase things like insurance. By way of example, I can recall trying to live independently outside the family home as a university student and I constantly struggled to pay bills and meet all the other costs of living as a young adult. This, in turn, had adverse effects on things like my study performance. Hence, in addition to the importance of finances, I think this is better for young adult' s study potential. With your family' s support, it is a lot easier to focus on your studies. Of Course, for some people in some situations, the family situation may actually be quite distracting for stressful. However, I think it would be fair to say that (for most people) you are more likely to eat better meals, have a quiet place to do school work and get a decent night' s sleep if you happen to be living in the family home. I can recall a friend from my university days who lived in a share house with other students. Life was a party for him but he didn' t eat or study well and inevitably his grades suffered. He had to repeat several subjects and finished his degree later than many of his peers. Finally, staying at home with one' s parents doesn' t necessarily mean that a young adult cannot develop independence. I' ll be the first to admit that there are parents out there who struggle to acknowledge that their children have grown up and deserve treatment as adults; it' s instinctive in many of them to continue to play a ' mothering' role that can actually be quite stifling for a young adult. Despite this possibility, even though I spent most of my university days living with my parents, they respected me as an adult as well as their child and they didn' t attempt to interfere too much or limit my independence. I think this is the case for many other young people as well, so I don' t think it is necessarily fair to claim that, just because someone is living with their family, they are somehow unable to enjoy the benefits of independence. By way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I' m of the opinion that in most cases it' s actually more beneficial for most adults to continue living with their families for a longer period of time. Families are precious things and an essential part of the fabric of a nurturing society, so I have a strong belief that they can be a powerful guide in helping children negotiate the path to independence.
Becoming an adult is a
really
special time in
Possible spelling mistake found.
anybody&
#039; s life and the call to head out into the world and embrace our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independence
is, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, quite powerful. I1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
this can depend on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
factors;
for example
, somebody starting a job might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
needs and priorities compared to a person who intends to go on and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Generally
speaking, I believe that it is better for all concerned if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
for a longer time,
particularly
if they are going to be studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or something similar.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider finances.
Certainly
, it is possible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
work and support themselves
relatively
quickly
.
However
, in most parts of the world these days it costs a lot to rent a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a car or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things like insurance. By way of example, I can recall trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
home as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
student and I
constantly
struggled to pay bills and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all the other costs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult. This, in turn, had adverse effects on things like my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
performance.

Hence
,
in addition
to the importance of finances, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
this is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Possible spelling mistake found.
adult&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
potential. With your
Possible spelling mistake found.
family&
#039; s support, it is a lot easier to focus on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Of Course
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
situation may actually be quite distracting for stressful.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to say that (for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people)
you are more likely to eat better meals, have a quiet place to do school work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a decent
Possible spelling mistake found.
night&
#039; s sleep if you happen to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
home. I can recall a friend from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
days who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with other students. Life was a party for him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t eat or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
well and
inevitably
his grades suffered. He had to repeat several subjects and finished his degree later than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of his peers.

Finally
, staying at home with
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s parents
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t
necessarily
mean that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult cannot develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independence
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; ll be the
first
to admit that there are parents out there who struggle to acknowledge that their children have grown up and deserve treatment as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s instinctive in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them to continue to play a '
Possible spelling mistake found.
mothering&
#039; role that can actually be quite stifling for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult. Despite this possibility,
even though
I spent most of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with my parents, they respected me as an adult
as well
as their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
child and
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t attempt to interfere too much or limit my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independence
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
this is the case for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is
necessarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to claim that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
someone is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they are somehow unable to enjoy the benefits of independence.

By way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above,
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m of the opinion that
in most cases
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s actually more beneficial for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
for a longer period of time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Families
are precious things and an essential part of the fabric of a nurturing society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I have a strong belief that they can be a powerful guide in helping children negotiate the path to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independence
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes

IELTS essay school work and get a decent night's sleep if you happen to be living in the family home. I can recall a friend from my university days who lived in a share house with other students. Life was a party for him but he didn't eat or study well and v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
587 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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